Expressing Yourself to Others/saying those three words
Expert: Deb - 5/6/2015
Question I have been seeing a wonderful man since December. Previously, he was in a six year relationship that ended horribly and left him broken hearted. I feel like he has made lots of progress in terms of being vulnerable. We are exclusive and call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. I've met his friends and after a few months, met his mother. He is willing to move towards being emotionally open to me, but is still understandably guarded and wants to move slowly in regards to this part of the relationship. I am willing to give him this time and I have fallen in love with him (my first love). I really want to tell him I love him, but I worry that this will cause him to shut down, or that I will be rejected. Any advice?
Answer u will appear as needy or and clingy to tell a man u love him and he has been upfront in saying let's take it slow and sounds like he is not ready to commit.If you find yourself venturing into a relationship with someone who is emotionally guarded it is best to practice patience. Come into the relationship with an open heart.
.Anytime someone guards something it is because they want to protect it. An emotionally guarded person is protecting themselves from getting hurt.
Relationships of depth require vulnerability. Vulnerability signifies the risk of getting hurt. The emotionally guarded raise their shields to protect against exposing their vulnerabilities. They are afraid that by releasing them they will be humiliated. They are guarding against emotional intimacy. A relationship cannot be sustained without emotional intimacy.
Intimacy requires feeling your insecurities and the painful emotions they elicit. All painful emotions are based in fear. The fear of getting hurt or humiliated can sometimes take control of oneís life.
If you find yourself venturing into a relationship with someone who is emotionally guarded it is best to practice patience. Come into the relationship with an open heart. You should also let them know that they are safe with you, through your words and actions. Like the turtle that retreats in his shell until he knows it is safe to come out; the emotionally guarded will emerge once they feel they will not be harmed. While patience is a virtue and should be practiced in any relationship, itís important to take care of yourself at all times. If you find that you are giving more than you are getting, then it may be time to move on to someone who is more emotionally available. It has been my experience that the reward of emotional intimacy far outweighs the risk of getting hurt.
communicating,relationships of any kind.
One of the hardest things to do when you're communicating with someone is expressing yourself.Fret not I am here to give advice or and ask any questions,
some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They're afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions.Tips/advice/
1.If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. It's a vicious cycle. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and either think the worst (that you're stuck up), or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you.
2.When you can't open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You'll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow.
3.Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You'll need help, you'll want help, but you won't seek it. You'll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry.
4.Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you'll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.How to Express Yourself
More Clearly and Completely
Social anxiety,shyness,low self esteem/confidence,motivation,encouragement ,how to overcome fear,how to express self;how to observe people in conversation carefully,
Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology;
Words have meaning to us. Subtle differences in each word will convey a slightly different idea. Huge and gigantic have subtle differences,our actions[body language/
Words have the power to give life and death...especially in relationships.
So it is important that you learn to express yourself. You must learn to convey your thoughts, ideas, dreams, ambitions, hopes and emotions to those that you share a relationship with. Your inability to do so, will damage your relationships.For years I have enjoyed helping people when it comes to any kind of communication
Education/Credentials Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology