Expert: shana - 12/31/2004

Question
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Followup To
Question -
Hi. I am a guy in 10th grade and there is this girl that I like. The problem is, I am very shy around her. I do not know how to approach her, or what to say or how to say it. How do I approach her and talk to her without looking weird or sounding nervous. I am not very good at sociallising and I could use any advice you could give. The girl is my age (15) and she is in my grade. She is very popular, but she seems like a nice person.

I hope you can help.
Thanks

 -Will
Answer -
Hi Will, first let me say that you are not alone. This is a very common situation and I receive lots of questions similar to yours'.  If you don't think that you could actually talk to her then it might be best to socialize with some of the people with whom she socializes.  That way you get closer proximity to her and will have a chance to communicate in a casual way.  For example, if a bunch of people are going out to a movie, you could go as well.  You may have a chance to talk to her then.  It's a hard thing to do, the first few times and there is always the fear of rejection, which everybody has.  That's very normal.  On the other hand, you have to realize that life is short and it seems silly to spend many hours pining away for someone and not doing anything about it.  Hope that helps.
Regards,
Shana





If and when I do get a chance to talk to her, what are some things I can talk about? This has always been a big obstacle for me as well. I do not have many interests and I dont like sports. If I could find something to talk about, that would be great. We do say "Hi" alot and I have said a few small things to her -- nothing special. What do I say? I am pretty good friends with some of her fiends but the connection is still rather weak. I like your movie idea, I will try that, but it might not be right away.
Thanks again,

  -Will

Answer
Hi Will, it might be good to have an idea of something to talk about before you see her.  After that though, let it flow naturally.  There is always the topic of school and things that are going on there.  That is one thing you know you have in common with her.  The reality is, you don't want it to sound planned.  You want to be spontatneous and sincere because people will notice otherwise.  Just be yourself.  I'm sure you find things to talk about with other friends.  Just imagine you are speaking to one of them.  That  should make it easier.  Good luck with it.  It's gets easier with time!

Shana