AboutJeff Laatsch Expertise WA Law with respect to family court issues: order to show cause/notice of motions, establishing or modification of an order, custody, visitation, child support, parenting schedules, mediation, preparations and filings of all documents: International relocation experience: Create a win/win/win situation between Mom-Children-Dad...
Experience Self taught and experience with working with various Court Clerks.
Expert: Jeff Laatsch Date: 7/5/2008 Subject: 17 yr. old moved out with dad
Question Her father and I divorced when she was 2 and we both remarried and are still married to our spouses for over 13 years. We always had a visitation structure set up and stuck to it. Her father and I never fought through the years. (we are lucky, i know) We all get along. She would go to her dad's every other weekend and we split the Holiday's up. He never asked for any extra time.
He was the fun one. Since she was only there limited time. I was in charge of the discipline. I made her keep her grades up, had chores around the house, held her accountable for her actions when she made bad choices.
16 came and so did a boyfriend. (he's gone now) She completely changed! She was mean and tested me all the time. (normal for a teen, I know) but she wanted to move in with her dad for many years and we never allowed her because her father and I promised never to allow the "switching of houses" that many divorced parents do.
I let her go to her dad's once for 3 months so she could see the grass is not greener. She did come back and admitted that it was not so great.
She was better for awhile when she came home. She was in counseling. She has depression and OCD. She take her meds on and off. She knows it helps her be "nicer" but won't take them. I think to spite me. ..I have done all the talking about stuff running in the family, so did the doctors. But she wants to be in control and can be at that age.
At the end of May, I let her move into her dad's for good. She was being VERY mean to her younger sister and brother. Walked around with a look like she wanted to tear apart the whole house, she lied about practically everything--I lived with that with my father growing up and I did not want my other kids to go through that.
Now that she is gone. I still try to keep her included. but she refuses to see me, totally rude on the phone to me and will not see her little brother (who cherished her) because I would be there. Her sister called her to tell her that we got "Rock Band" and wanted her to to come play. She was rude to her little sister and just said "is that all you called for?". Her sister is 9.
My question is: I do not pay support to her dad because that is what we agreed on. (I don't work) Our custody is joint. Visitation is in writing.---now that I let her go to her dad's can she refuse to see me? Without going to court can she do that? She does not have any reason not to come other than she hates me and my house. Her dad will not force her to come. But will encourage her. Do I have any standing since she is 17?
She will be 18 in January and I think if I don't get her to come every other weekend she may never come around for many years. That will hurt everyone in the long run.
She had a good childhood. We did all the right things. She is just being a spoiled brat right now that wants control and prove to me that she has the "power".
I am not looking for power, I just want her to be in our lives and include her in our family activities that are traditions.
How much time should I give her? Should I even request every other weekend?
Answer Kay:
DISCLAIMER:
I AM NOT A LAWYER or ATTORNEY. I am someone who has experience with family law issues, and am sharing my OPINION only. For the exact law as it pertains to your specific case contact a Professional Attorney in your area/county.
I recommend hiring a Professional Attorney: Most Attorneys offer 1/2 free consultation time to discuss case and payment options.
Kay because your daughter has moved in with Dad: You and DAD need to re-file child support paperwork: Including all worksheets. You will need to file new Parenting plan indicating every other weekend visitation for you. Finally you will need to file a motion for modification of custody.
This will resolve all issues legally around the move. As far as forcing her, a 17 year old, to visit is a different story: The reason is that per most courts: A 17 year old is a Young Adult and is treated as such that it is up to her decision and hers alone with reference to visitation.
