AboutJeff Laatsch Expertise WA Law with respect to family court issues: order to show cause/notice of motions, establishing or modification of an order, custody, visitation, child support, parenting schedules, mediation, preparations and filings of all documents: International relocation experience: Create a win/win/win situation between Mom-Children-Dad...
Experience Self taught and experience with working with various Court Clerks.
Question QUESTION: My ex and i have a 15 month old daughter. We were separated before she was born, then spent one month (when she was 2 months old) all together while his family was visiting from NS. (i wanted to make it easier for them to see our daughter - we were civil at this time...and i thought maybe things could work out) Then when the month was over, my daughter and i moved back to my home province, while her father stayed where he was, the next province over. He did not come to see her on a regular basis and visits did nt go well when he did come to see her. i was present for visits because i am nursing and because our daughter had developed no relationship with him i wanted her to be comfortable. He then picked up and moved further away (5 provinces away). in the past 15 months he has come to see our daughter 5 times. whenever he has come he expects to have her by himself for lengthy periods of time. In the research i have done i've found this is not appropriate or healthy for our daughter. i have tried to explain to him that this is not ok. She has no knowledge of who he is and needs time to build a relationship with him. i told him that visits should be more frequent if he wants things to change. i am wondering how visitation should work in our situation. we have no order or any court proceedings, he always demands a lot. i want him to get to know our daughter, but my main concern is making sure she is comforatble with the process, i'm just confused and not sure how this should work.
ANSWER: Brittan:
DISCLAIMER:
I AM NOT A LAWYER or ATTORNEY. I am someone who has experience with family law issues, and am sharing my OPINION only. For the exact law as it pertains to your specific case contact a Professional Attorney in your area/county.
WOW..Brittan I am unsure what NS stands for based on your description "my daughter and i moved back to my home province".
IF this case resides outside the USA Borders, I am unable to answer your question hence I recommend hiring a Professional Attorney: Most Attorneys offer 1/2 free consultation time to discuss case and payment options. Take in ALL your legal papers pertaining to your case and discuss your options.
I am sure the Laws are different in your 'Province' compared to USA.
IF INSIDE USA please clarify what "NS" is, OK.
Kind Regards,
Jeff
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: we live in canada. NS is Nova Scotia, her fathers place of residence, we are in SK saskatchewan, 5 provinces over. yes the laws are most likely different, i was unaware this was a USA site. i was just looking for some general visitation advice.
Answer Brittan:
DISCLAIMER:
I AM NOT A LAWYER or ATTORNEY. I am someone who has experience with family law issues, and am sharing my OPINION only. For the exact law as it pertains to your specific case contact a Professional Attorney in your area/county/country.
Thanks for the reply Brittan. In the US a case similar to yours can be handled various ways depending on the 'ownership' of Dad. In some cases, 'Dad' doesn't own up to the fact that the child is his so Mom has to file a legal papers for Dad to take a blood test/Perennity test to prove Dad is the father. This in itself is a few additional legal papers that must be filed.
Then if the child is as young as yours, in most cases US Courts allow 'limited' visitation. The limitation is based on the childs needs. For example, if the child is 'Nursing' then preparations must be made by Mom to ensure limited visitation , all depends on the agreements made by Mom and Dad, has enough food for child. Again this could vary Brittan depending on 'Dads' background. Hence why I always recommend talking to a Professional Attorney.
Until the child reaches say 3 or 4 years of age to where he/she can spend 'overnights' the visitation is restricted to usually day visits. However, I do know of cases where this was stretched to the normal 'every other weekend'.
The key is the childs age, behavior with Dad, and away from Mom. The court ALWAYS or should always lean in favor of 'what is in the best interest of the child'.
The courts WANT TO SEE bonding between BOTH PARENTS so that the child as they grow older the bond becomes strong between BOTH parents. However, in young couples the 'what is in the best interest for me' comes into play which is selfish. ALWAYS do what is in the best interest of the child EVEN IF it means sacrifice of time away from you, OK. In the end as the child grows older, the child will know what happens AND in most cases always loves the parent even more who sacrificed the time.
I have sixteen year old twins Brittan. They live in England now. Four years ago Mom and I talked about MOM wanting to move to England because of a new marriage and the Man lived in England. I talked it over with the Girls to see their 'comfort' level. When I determined they were 'comfortable' with it, AND with the reassurance that they also always have a home here in the US. They moved.
No regrets because they graduated from HS with honors this year ( 2 years ahead of US schools) AND they start college in the fall. PLUS they have a RICH European influence in their lives AND have had the opportunity to tour Europe PLUS have an open mind to the world.
Finally back to your case. Based on what you have said which is:
- Once moved back to home province
- Dad did not come to see her on a regular basis ( Money?)
- Dad when visited did not go well (Maybe needs some 'coaching'.
- MOm is nursing ( Day visits only then)
Unless Mom preps for longer visits as noted.
- Dad needs time to build a relationship with Daugher (EXACTLY).
I believe you are on the right track. Again talk to an Attorney and form what in the USA is called a 'PARENTING PLAN' which is a legal document spelling out visitation rights naming YOU as PRIMARY parent who controls and looks out for the 'best interest of said child' ALSO ensure you receive some type of 'Child Support' from Dad because it is BOTH your child, OK. Work with the Attorney.
I would recommend one last thing. Remember Brittan, Dads are a bit different than Moms in the sense of thinking and emotions. BUT with the gentle coaching of Mom and PATIENTS by BOTH parents the child will win and so will both parents. ALWAYS put childs best interest first as you have because you are right the daughter needs to bond with DAD. As Dad grows so will you and the child.
