AboutDr. Jerry Martin, Jr. Expertise I will be able to answer any questions in general relation to family and children issues. Please do not ask me regards medications because I am not a medical doctor.
Experience I have experience with the children and teens in the past 20 years.
Organizations Certified Member of American Psychological Association - and a Fellow Member of International Society of Counsellors
Education/Credentials I holds BA degree in Psychology, MA degree in Social Work and Ed.D. degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.
Awards and Honors I hold numberous awards from state and regionial agencies for excellent community service to the youth and families in the past 12 years.
Question Hi. I am the mother of a five year old. I'm ending a relationship of three
years with a man who my son considers his father. (His real father didn't
want to anything with his son, only visited sometimes up until he was two.)
Now that we are separating, we want to make the transition to my son as
smooth as possible. He is going to live on the west coast, nine hour flight
from where we live! He is offering one year of school tuition. But they won't
see each other much. What should I tell my son? Should I make clear that he
is not his father? How should I explain he is not going to see him anymore?
Could this have repercussions on his self esteem or personality problems in
the future? My son believes that he is his dad, but there are no legal
bindings. I am afraid that he grows up thinking that his two fathers
abandoned him.
Thank you for your help
Answer Hi Maria,
I am sorry to hear about that. I am glad your son is only five years old, it may not impact him that bad. My suggestion to have his "dad" sit down and talk with him about moving away. Please do not tell him that he is not his father. It will damage his self-esteem at that age, he may not understand just yet. You need to not worry about that. He will heal over the time.
It is good idea to contact "Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America" to have someone to act as a big brother to your son as a male role model. It is nothing wrong being single parent, that is why I suggested you to contact this agency, they specializes and serving for single parent and will enhance his self-esteem and self-confidence. What is the best part, it is FREE!
