Experience Good family relationships are very helpfull for persons self esteem and mostly people with strong family background reach ahead in their professional life also.
Organizations Transform Lifestyle
Education/Credentials NLP Practitioner
To know more please visit our site at
http://www.TransformLifestyle.com.
For Live Chat Google chat id is :: transformlifestyle
Yahoo chat id :: transformlifestyle
Expert: Mr. Sharma Date: 7/9/2008 Subject: Problems with my mother & brothers
Question My mom is 52 and has been divorced for 15 years now, she lives in the same house that all of us kids grew up in. My two brothers live with her in that house as well. She never really dates anyone. She hasn't had a job in 6 years, and recently filed bankruptcy. She never told me about the bankruptcy until after the matter, and I was upset because my husband & I could have helped pay off her bills. She thinks it was a great thing to do still. She has no money at all and relies on my two brothers who are 25 and 27 to support her. I had to pull teeth for months just to get her to get health insurance (and I even offered to pay). There are no jobs around where they live (it's in a very rural, isolated area). We want to help her get on her feet and get a job, or go back to school--we have offered to pay for a technical school and her rent if she moved somewhere to attend. In her mind, she thinks she is "retired", but she hasn't worked in years. My brothers don't help either, they like her being there because she does everything for them--mows grass, does their laundry, cooks, cleans, EVERYTHING! They want her to stay there and have no job, and I want her to move anywhere else so she can meet new people, get a job so she will have SOME money. She doesn't think about the future or any responsibilities. I think she might have gone through a mid-life crisis--she dresses really young (she's probably afraid of getting older), she doesn't see anything wrong with not having a job. My brothers are hurting themselves too by living with their mother still (she doesn't need medical or any kind of assistance), because they have never had a relationship lasting more than one month. They will never be able to obtain a serious girlfriend or wife like this. No one listens to me, and I have tried talking to them in a really nice way, but they never get the message. I want to help them! Please help!
Answer Hi Cristy, I am glad there are daughters like you in families who really do want to look after thier families. To be honest you are doing the right thing ad your intention is great.
Here try this and it will work as if there may be some other issues which i may not be able to solve or guide from your one question.
But what so far i can see is your family is in their comfort zone they are happy and every one is getting what they think they deserve. You are right there is much more than that and once they do come out of their daily routines most of things will fall in it's place.
instead of telling your mom to move etc. make arrangements for her to live in a different state some where may be on holiday on beach and open her a small candy store or some kind of charity. means get her out for a week 2 weeks a month whatever let her relocate her only on temporary basis. I think within a month all will realize what they are missing in their life.
I think there are number of charity organization which do provide accomodation if you work for them. So enrol her for a month then surely that NGO will not let her go back .
Get her out of the comfort zone and then try to fix each one by one.
See she will do what she is doing because she doesn't know what esle she needs to do. if you show her what else she can do or what else is available in life for her which can improve her and her son life and you show her a path then surely she will be prompt in listening to your messages.
About her age, the day she starts going out meeting other people and start a part time job for money or to pass time and make new friends she will feel alive.
Take her to a counsellor or for a motivational seminar which can transform her.
