Experience I am proffessionally counselling people for the last seven years.
Education/Credentials B.A,Diploma in psychotherapy,diploma in yoga teaching,diploma in nutrition & health education,degree in pranic & spiritual healing and master in reiki.
Expert: Shashank Shekhar Pandey Date: 7/10/2008 Subject: successful working women and husband's jealousy
Question Many women are well educated and career oriented in Saudi Arabia and Arab countries. They use their all abilities and worked hard, as a result they earn more than their husbands. But, many husbands cannot tolerate the successes of their life partner. They do not co operate personally with wives who need them as a working lady. They begin to tease, mock and discourage their wives. Many of them pull their wives legs due to frustration which lead to spoil the atmosphere of home and ultimately the marriage life. It affects negatively o the children as well.
Being expatriate working women, they do not have any close relatives to support them mentally and physically. Many leave the careers to keep satisfy the ego of their husbands.
What is the Psyche of men regarding this issue?
What these women should do to handle this problem?
What is the responsibility of the husband of a successful woman?
I would be very thankful if you reply me soon in detail-
Regards/
Sameera Aziz
Answer Hi Sameera,
Your question is very familiar in all the developing and Islamic countries. In Hindu country like India too,it was unacceptable in the major parts of the country/ society some 20 years ago. You will be astonished to know that even in well developed countries ,male are, to some extent, biased against familine gender.
The reason of this lie in the masculinity. Biologically men are, undoubtedly, more strong/powerful and the nature of power is such that it does not accept the less powerful being ahead of them. That is why we find that even in developed countries where women are advanced in all sphere of life ,they lag behind men in top positions. America is the best example of this fact,where not a single woman has been able to reach the post of president as yet.So, Psych of men regarding this issue lies in the masculinity itself.
Now your question is that what these women should do to handle this problem. Well,Women are naturally more tolerant and compassionate. They have more inner strength and that's why they are more tolerant and compassionate. The difference between men and women , apart from biological structure, is that of egoistic nature.Men due their masculinity have more ego,that's why they are unable to accept the success of their wives. In contrast,women due to their compassionate nature feel proud of their husbands' success but they find their husbands wanting in the opposite situation. In this scenario, if women ,in frustration, act egoistically then it will be counter productive. Many marriages are broken due to this reason. So, women should understand the male Psyche and utilize their strength more wisely and productively. A cool,calm and compassionate mind always finds the right way and win the battle.
Women are managing home from centuries. Earlier men were supposed to be breadwinner for the family but with the progress of time the situation changed and women also came into the race and since then this problem arised. In countries,where historically, men were aggressively dominant and still today they are,the solution of this problem seems a bit difficult, if not impossible. The solution of this problem lies in the whole society and not with the women alone. An systematic awareness and counselling programmes for men will be quite meaningful.These programmes can be organised by government,private sector and social organisations. The plus point is that now a days women are coming out from their cage in large numbers. The more there will be educated women the more will be solution. Time is changing. It never remains the same.There is more hope for women.
As far as responsibility of a husband
of a successful woman is concerned it is quite imperative for him to have a helpful attitude. If he can not lend a helping hand to her wife then, atleast, he should not create obstacles in her progress path.
But, here arises a counter question that how their home will be managed if they (husbands) are also working. Managing home is a duty of both husband and wife. Here mutual understanding becomes all the more important. A flexible approach from both sides is necessary in such a case.
More over, marriage is a very sacred instituation.It should not be degraded by any one. Life of man and woman revolves around it. It should be given its due importance and for this very reason a husband and wife should be careful while negotiating other matters of life.
