AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I am a licensed Marriage & Family therapist. I work primarily with teens and families on a weekly basis. You will get the straight truth. I will not pull punches.
Experience I have been working daily with teens and families for the last 10 years.
Organizations AAMFT; AACC; WAMFT
Education/Credentials M.S. in Marriage & Family Therapy
Question First I would like to say thank you in advance for taking the time to review my situation. Even writing this is difficult because my mind is so scatter brained. I'm 24 years old and I currently live in Bogota Colombia. I have been here for 5 months and all I want to do is go home. The reason I'm here is because my fiance got deported from the states and with our two year old daughter I followed him and gave up my own life so my daughter can have her father. He is a good man to me and I love him very much. I recently realized though that I do not want to get married and since, I feel and little taken back. I do not speak the language here and i stay home all the time. To some that may be a luxury but not for me. I want to go to school and secure a future for myself and for my daughter. In order for me to get my independence back and have a more successful future I need to go back home. By doing that I have to split my daughter and her father apart. I'm always so worried for her safety here and the possibilities of what could happen. I have a horrible imagination when it comes to crime so I'm always in fear of what if. I just want to go home and make something of myself for myself and have a better environment so I don't fear the worst all the time with my daughter. So my question is: Should I go back home and go to school and have a better future or, should I keep father, and daughter together and just give up my own life for the familys sake? Please help!
Answer Christina,
When you decided to go the route of not having a true commitment from someone and having a child without that commitment you sealed your fate. Your focus now should be on your daughter not on yourself. Taking your daughter away from her father is a horrible thing to do in my opinion. She did not ask to be in this situation, you more or less forced her into it. Now to take her away from her father because of stuff you want is selfish. I would suggest you immediately enroll in a language school and learn the language. I also suggest you take advantage of your ability to speak English and start looking for a place to teach. I also suggest that you focus on your daughter and not yourself. She needs two parents, not one who is going to look out for her self when she goes back to where she is comfortable.
David
www.help4life.net
