Family Relations/Family Drama
It has been one year now that our adult married children have been at war with each other. All over something ridiculous Daughter in law caused the problem and to this day has never apologized. Daughter will have nothing to do with said daughter in law (her sister in law) As the parents we have a dilemma as to how to handle holiday family gatherings. All holidays have always been spent at our home. If we invite everyone, daughter and her family will not attend because son and daughter in law will be in attendance. As a parent I cannot invite just my son and his family OR just my daughter and her family. Yet if I invite everyone, I know daughter and her family will Never attend and so will miss out on all holidays. I refuse to do TWO dinners, one day for the daughter and family and another day for son and his family. Not fair to me. Daughter feels that if we invite the entire family then we are siding with my son as we know daughter will not attend. Hope this isn't confusing. We just don't know what to do. Do we not have any celebrations anymore at our house or do we go ahead and have something and invite everyone. Who comes comes and who doesn't doesn't. If I have nothing my son says I am letting my daughter control and win. I feel like telling them all where to go!!!! Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I don't know what to do. HELP
To keep the answer short, your son is correct about don't allow your daughter to take over your life and it is your home, thus your decision to invite everyone to the family holiday gatherings. Issue is not you, your daughter is the problem and she should had to be on the best behavior for your own sake and everyone else, I guess she choose to not do so and act like a child....allow her and it is her own choice to not attend the family dinner, her own loss.
It is really shame that she act like this way, you need to talk with your daughter to let her know in the advance that she is always welcome to your home and insist that you welcome everyone regardless she like it or not. If she will not attend, that is fine. Once again assure her that you will NOT do two dinners and see what she will say.