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Family Relations/concerned about possible inappropriate behavior


I am dating a wonderful man (age 55) who has been texting with a 16 year old girl (very inocently) who he has known for 3 years and is close friends with her parents.  The parents accept this communication but I am not certain it is appropriate and am nervious that it could lead to a dangerous place.  Am I being overly concerned?

That's almost impossible to say, Kim. If I were evaluating or investigating, I would want to know what actual words were being texted, time of day and DOW, whether they had spent time together, with others or alone, how many times, where, when, how frequently, and how many minutes each time. I would think about how I would characterize the overall nature of the relationship - casual, parent-child, immature, etc. I would not dare to predict anything over the internet; but, if I was evaluating this person, and I was sure that there had not been anything inappropriate over the last 3 years, that the chances of something untoward happening were rather low. If you do suspect anything, its a good idea to get other people involved - live people, from your area.

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.


questions framed similarly to 'what are some ways to respond when someone does/says X' are best. Questions posed in the form of 'why does my father do/say Y', or 'how would you diagnose my mother when she does/says Z' are difficult, if not impossible, to answer. I will probably reframe your question to fit the first question (what do I do). Nay question regarding any family member is fair game. Some of the most difficult are in the area of step-parenting and divorcing families.


I've been a licensed psychologist in Florida since 1994. I've evaluated and/or treated thousands of patients.

American Psychological Association Florida Psychological association National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology


Psy.D., Miami Institute of Psychology, 1993 M.CS., U. of Dayton, 1984 B.A., Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978

Awards and Honors
Award for Years of Dedicated Service, Palm Beach County Legal Aid Society, 1999

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