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Family Relations/How to deal with this kid?


My uncle and aunt have a kid who's now 22 years old. He still lives at home, and won't try to find a job regardless of how much they tell him to. He's addicted to drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowds, and is not going to school.

He's tried to go to college before but dropped out pretty quickly.

We want him to go to drug rehab but he refuses to go. I've read that unless an individual has a desire to go to rehab, then the results will not be worthwhile. I'm not sure how effective it's going to be to try to keep pushing him to go to rehab since he doesn't have any desire to.

He has no job, no college education, addicted to drugs, and does not want to leave home. What do you think is the best way to deal with him so that he can become a better, more productive person?

Hi, TONY, thanks for your question. Let me see if I understand it, by paraphrasing it. If this paraphrase is incorrect, please feel free to correct me.

You want to know how to tell an adult how to tell another adult to live their life the way you want them to live.

If this is indeed what you are asking, it seems pretty impossible to me. You might as well be asking the President of the United States to tell the President of Syria to stop the civil war in his country!

No, I don't know how to do this, and it isn't something that psychologists even try to do.

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.


questions framed similarly to 'what are some ways to respond when someone does/says X' are best. Questions posed in the form of 'why does my father do/say Y', or 'how would you diagnose my mother when she does/says Z' are difficult, if not impossible, to answer. I will probably reframe your question to fit the first question (what do I do). Nay question regarding any family member is fair game. Some of the most difficult are in the area of step-parenting and divorcing families.


I've been a licensed psychologist in Florida since 1994. I've evaluated and/or treated thousands of patients.

American Psychological Association Florida Psychological association National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology


Psy.D., Miami Institute of Psychology, 1993 M.CS., U. of Dayton, 1984 B.A., Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978

Awards and Honors
Award for Years of Dedicated Service, Palm Beach County Legal Aid Society, 1999

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