Family Relations/pregnant daughter

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My 19 year old daughter was raised in a loving christian home with Christian values. She was diagnosed with Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome as well as Dyslexia while she was in school but I feel that there are some other mental problems going on that were never addressed. She has never been able to think and do the obvious daily tasks without first being told to do so and then guided through the task each and every day. While she was in school she kept to herself in her room, never going out with friends or associating with the family. I noticed that she based her life and thoughts off of drama TV shows that she would watch late at night after we went to bed. She has since graduated and moved out, she joined the army against our wishes then met a boy and moved in with him. Which I will say is on about the same mental level as she is if not even lower. She decided she didn't want to be in the army anymore so before she was shipped off to basic she purposely got pregnant so she would not have to go and also they were planning to run if the army came to get her. She doesn't want anything to do with her family and will not listen to anyone trying to give her advise. She and her boyfriend are now homeless and neither one of them have nor want a job. We have offered her several time for her to come back home but she refuses. My biggest concern is with the unborn child she carries. I know she is not mentally capable of caring for this child. She is 5 1/2 months along and has only had one doctors visit only because a friend forced her to go. She told the doctor what she wanted to hear but has not followed through with her counsel. I am at a loss for what I can do for this baby. I fear that when it is born it will be severely neglected or worse. I don't think she would purposely harm the baby but I feel she just does not have the capability to rationally think and act. She thinks she is fine and that there is nothing to worry about. All of her life she has dealt with one day at a time and no more. With problems she would ignore them and hope they went away never attempting to solve them. I don't know where I stand as a parent and grandparent legally with this situation. It breaks my heart to see her throw her life away like this but it worries and hurts me even more to see her do this to an innocent child. She has no idea what she has gotten herself and this child into. Please, if you have any advise or know of where I could turn for help I would so much appreciate it.

Answer
Shelley,
I would first contact and attorney to see what your options are. Secondly, I would contact social services and let them know of your concerns. They could possibly help in terms of making sure the baby is cared for after being born. Finally, I think your daughter may not be as helpless as you think she is. Getting into the military does require some brains and they don't simply take anyone. She may not be going down the path you are hoping she goes down. Maybe coming to terms with that more could help you find more effective ways of working with her. Being nice in order to see the baby is an option. Then you will be able to determine how effective she is at being a parent.

Doc David

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Dr. David Simonsen

Expertise

I am a licensed Marriage & Family therapist with a Ph.D. in Psychology. I work primarily with teens and families on a weekly basis. You will get the straight truth. I will not pull punches.

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I have been working daily with teens and families for the last 10 years.

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AAMFT; AACC; WAMFT

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M.S. in Marriage & Family Therapy; Ph.D. Psychology

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