Family Relations/Communication issues


I am a single guy living at home with my dad. I am 30 years old.
I seem to find very often that communication with my father is not what I want to be. Almost every day or second day there is some kind of conflict which usually goes something like:
Me- "Can we do this?"
Dad- "No, I'm too tired, this is not right, why don't you listen to me, I know best, etc" It's almost like he knows better and if you think otherwise or suggest something else, it's wrong.

Don't misunderstand me, I try to help out and I'm very polite and I get along well with everybody else.
It gets to the point where I just keep the peace and say "Okay, no problem, I will let you make the decision."

What kind of help can you offer me to have better communication.
Much appreciated.

Hi, thanks for your question. Basically, when you live in someone else's house, you follow their rules. If yoo don't like the rules, then you move out.

Now, you can try to change up how you communicate with your dad. If you want to have him change, then you will have to meet his needs / solve his problems. To the extent that you try to meet your own needs, you are likely to fail.

You seem frustrated because your needs arent being met. There's no solution down that tunnel.

This is why most people move out of their parents' house and live on their own

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.


questions framed similarly to 'what are some ways to respond when someone does/says X' are best. Questions posed in the form of 'why does my father do/say Y', or 'how would you diagnose my mother when she does/says Z' are difficult, if not impossible, to answer. I will probably reframe your question to fit the first question (what do I do). Nay question regarding any family member is fair game. Some of the most difficult are in the area of step-parenting and divorcing families.


I've been a licensed psychologist in Florida since 1994. I've evaluated and/or treated thousands of patients.

American Psychological Association Florida Psychological association National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology


Psy.D., Miami Institute of Psychology, 1993 M.CS., U. of Dayton, 1984 B.A., Ohio Wesleyan U., 1978

Awards and Honors
Award for Years of Dedicated Service, Palm Beach County Legal Aid Society, 1999

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