Family Relations/communications


I am a 45 year old widow. My 20 year old daughter lives with me.
I have a friend with benefits. My daughter has a boyfriend.
Here is the issue, when ever I go out or have my fwb comes over, she is rude and nasty to me. Some of it is direct, being short tempered , not having a conversation.
Some is passive agressive..loudly cleaning the kitchen slamming doors etc.
I am beyond fed up. I am always gracious, kind and accommodating for her and her boyfriend.
I expect her to keep her emotions in check, act like an adult and knock off the crap.
I have tried many times to have a conversation.  I have used I statements.
I need suggestions.  
To complicate the issue, my elderly father has come to live with us. When she acts out it is very upsetting to him. I have directly told her to stop her behaviors when it upsets him. But she will continue to her tirades.
Help ???

I'm sure your daughter has a variety of issues with this person as well as possibly some issues surrounding you being a widow. I agree with you though, that she needs to deal with your choices good or bad. If she is unable to control herself then she should leave or you could let her know when your friend is coming over so she can make plans to not be around. If it doesn't change and you aren't going to change things, then you need to ask her to leave the home. There is a level of respect that comes into play here than if she can't do it then she needs to leave unfortunately.

Doc David

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Dr. David Simonsen


I am a licensed Marriage & Family therapist with a Ph.D. in Psychology. I work primarily with teens and families on a weekly basis. You will get the straight truth. I will not pull punches.


I have been working daily with teens and families for the last 10 years.


M.S. in Marriage & Family Therapy; Ph.D. Psychology

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