Family Relations/trouble with husband


I am 32 years old indian married woman with a two years old baby. My husband always cracks jokes about me, like I was a very protected child, so I am very sensitive, so I can't ride bicycle, I am too much emotional and fool. When I fell down and got hurt badly he said that it occured due to my obescity though I am not at all overweight, sometimes people used to notice me because of my thinness, according to him they did it to please me only. It is not true. When I got angry he used to tell methat he was just jokin these are all his jokes, and I should not take all these so seriously and I should be hard enough to accept jokes regarding myself.Somehow I do not like all these. May be all these are beri light weighted talks not serious ones, but it hurts me a lot. Ifeel there is something, some sort of smell of frustrtaion in all these jokes of him regarding me, may be he doesn't like my nature may be not. And also a smell of dominance, who has given the reponsibility to teach me how to deal with jokes regarding myself, I am a researcher by professon and have lots of friends. If I don't know to tackle leg-pulling how can I maintain all these friendships. In any situation he always tells me that it is my fault and I feel frustrated to talk or defend myself. I never found any sort of sympathy in his words towards me. When I have complain for all these he always said that he doesn't feel for me because I never listened to his warnings etc.I always start shouting at him and my baby thinks that I always shouts at him ( even he has complained to me about this also in his tender childish way). I tried to controll myself, to ignore him. Somehow not always. I feel frustrated also that how can I ignore him, he is my husband!
Can you suggest anything?

Hi Sohini,
I think it may be his habit. If every thing other than these are ok with him, then I think he is just an immature person or may be ill mannered. He is certainly not sensitive enough to have a feeling for your feelings on such issues.
I would suggest you to reply him in a very articulate manner. Your reply should be precise. Like, when he says that you are obese then you can tell him about your weight and further add that he should know what weight should be of a person according to his or her  height to be called overweight or obese.
Some other time when he is not making fun of you, tell him about your feelings in a normal way, not angrily.
If all these doesn't help, you can take him to a professional counsellor in a face to face setting.

Shashank Shekhar

Family Relations

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Shashank Shekhar Pandey


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