You are here:

Fatherhood/Love Her but unsure about kids now



My girlfriend wants to get married and I love her to death, however, she is older than me (I am 30, she is 36) and wants a child within two years. I do not know if I will be ready by then since there is still a lot I would rather do, especially if we are recently married, before children come into the picture. Also, it scares me to think about her being a mother at 40 and us being limited to perhaps only one child. Should I pursue this relationship if I don't feel ready for giving her what she wants when she wants it? Or should I just commit to having kids, since I do want them inevitably...just in a few more years (four to five)?



In my opinion what is important is that you both want kids. The timing may not be perfect, but that might not be a big deal. It's definitely a conversation that you should be having together. I would suggest premarital counseling as an avenue that would help you all have that conversation. You are at an age where having kids should probably be your focus more than yourself so it's not unreasonable to have them sooner than later.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


David Simonsen


As a married father of 5 daughters and one son I can answer many questions related to fatherhood. It is a rewarding and challenging position to have. I will answer any serious question straight and true.


Weekly meetings with Fathers and their children.


B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy; Licensed in my state. Pd.D. Psychology

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]