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Fatherhood/How would an 18-year-old girl feel toward her parents?

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Question
How would an 18-year-old girl feel toward her parents? She was born in the United States, and has lived in Spain with her European mother since she was a baby. There was an international child custody battle that lasted 18 years. Her European mother is wanted by the United States for violating the International Parental Kidnapping Crime Act of 1993. The courts in the United States, ordered her European mother to return her to her American father in the United States, while the courts in Spain ruled that she was not allowed to leave Spain before her 18 birthdays. She also knew that if her American father tried to see/visit her before her 18 birthdays her mother would have him arrested by Spanish police.

Answer
Children are very resilient and provided with a loving, consistent, nurturing upbringing either with both parents or one, can do amazingly well.  As a young adult, knowing her parents custody issues she may have mixed feelings about it all.  We all grow up and feel that we grew up in a "normal" family as it is the only family experience we have had.  As children get older and are exposed to other children and their families they begin to notice and hear about differences but without really experiencing those differences it's not the same.  Now she has the opportunity to get to know her father and his family as a young adult. While not the same as having been raised by her father, it can still be a beautiful and wonderful experience for both if the father can avoid the very negative and ugly issues that have haunted him for the last 18 years.  Those years are gone, you can't get them back so start where you are and make and get the best out of it for time is fleeting.  We can pray that things will be as good as they can.

Take care,

Marcos

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Marcos Torres

Expertise

I can answer many questions regarding child development, best practices in child care and the fathers role in his children's development.

Experience

10 years as a child protective services investigator, 10 years administrator of a residential nonprofit program for developmentally disabled adults and children, 2 years working with parents facilitating a parenting group of first time parents with my wife using the MELD curriculum in the early 80's. Co-wrote and Administered a fatherhood grant working with young fathers and incarcerated fathers. Ran a fatherhood program in a Texas State jail and was Director of Incarcerated Programs for the National Fatherhood Initiative for a year and a half. I also raised two children now 22 and 26 who have excelled academically which I believe is from our learning the best practices in child rearing from the start.

Education/Credentials
BA in Social work in 1980 from New Mexico State University

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