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Fatherhood/What should an American do?


What should an American father do? His daughter that is born in the United Kingdom tells him that she does not want to visit the United States before child custody ends at age 18, because she is afraid that her American father will not allow her to return to the United Kingdom before her 18 birthday. She is also afraid that if she were to visit the United States before her 18 birthday, he will file for custody of her in the United States family courts. She knows that he canít do if she were to visit the United States for the first time after her 18 birthday.


First of all, you are not an individual with a question or issue about being a responsible father which is why I do this, to support fathers with specific situations that my expertise allows me to.  Your questions are much too vague, too general.  They have to do with hypothetical situations affected by international laws and/or how to get around them for someone's personal benefit, apparently not the child.  If people, fathers and mothers just took more responsibility before they get in a situation where the result is a child, these problems would not exist in the first place.  Relationships have to be based on trust and when a child is involved, that trust has to have that child's best interest at heart, not their own selfish interests.  Everyone, regardless of age has the autonomy to make choices which are based on the information they have on hand and the influence of others close to them, particularly true for children.  Adults should be better prepared to find the best solution to address every situation.  

In this case, the parents of the child be they American or what ever, should find a neutral country where they can meet and feel safe from the legal scheming of the other parent.  The parents need to grow up, and fix their relationship to a point that basic trust is established.  Fathers need to own their word and stand by it.  Un hombre de palabra.  Something that too many men know nothing about.  Simply put it means not using your word to bring harm to yourself or others, your word meaning so much more than what you say, but what you do.

In the future, please have the individual involved ask a very specific question not a general one from a webmaster at

Marcos Torres


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Marcos Torres


I can answer many questions regarding child development, best practices in child care and the fathers role in his children's development.


10 years as a child protective services investigator, 10 years administrator of a residential nonprofit program for developmentally disabled adults and children, 2 years working with parents facilitating a parenting group of first time parents with my wife using the MELD curriculum in the early 80's. Co-wrote and Administered a fatherhood grant working with young fathers and incarcerated fathers. Ran a fatherhood program in a Texas State jail and was Director of Incarcerated Programs for the National Fatherhood Initiative for a year and a half. I also raised two children now 22 and 26 who have excelled academically which I believe is from our learning the best practices in child rearing from the start.

BA in Social work in 1980 from New Mexico State University

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