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Fatherhood/Why would a 12 year old European girl be very happy that her


QUESTION: Why would a 12 year old European girl allow a man that she has know for less than 30 minutes to do anything with her that would be socially exemptible for a father to do with his daughter? The mother of the 12 year old does not intervene because she knows that this man will never hurt a child.

ANSWER: Socially exemptible where?  What may be socially appropriate or exemptible depends on who you are, where you live and what others in your "social circle" find acceptable or exemptible.  No person can know whether this or any other man would/could possibly hurt her or her child.  Your questions remain much too general.

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QUESTION: Why would the same 12 year old girl like it when this man gives her hugs and kisses in from of her father and mother? The parents do not interfere because this man has not crossed the line.

The man may want to show the parents that they can trust him as well as show the child that he really cares for her.  The potential problem is that he may also be doing this to make the child comfortable with his hugs and kisses.  The danger in this is that it can go beyond what is acceptable and/or legal.  It's called "grooming", when a pedofile establishes what appears to just be an innocent, loving relationship that eventually crosses the line.  The child only knows that he cares for her and she most likely really cares for him as well and she could easily be led into allowing more advances from him.  Not a good picture that seems to be developing her.  Please talk to these parents and have them take the child to someone who can teach her what is acceptable and what is not and what a potential pedofile may likely do to win her confidence to take advantage of her.  It has been a long time since I had a case that was similar to this with a 16 year old who's step father groomed her in a very similar fashion.  We all like to be loved and physical touch can be exciting even to a 12 year old who may not know she has the power to say "stop".  Pedofiles may threaten to hurt or kill their parents or the child which may cause the child to get involved in a very bad way.  I hope that you can do something to keep this from happening. It may be innocent on the part of the man, but the child needs to be educated in how to protect her innocence.

Take care,

Marcos Torres


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Marcos Torres


I can answer many questions regarding child development, best practices in child care and the fathers role in his children's development.


10 years as a child protective services investigator, 10 years administrator of a residential nonprofit program for developmentally disabled adults and children, 2 years working with parents facilitating a parenting group of first time parents with my wife using the MELD curriculum in the early 80's. Co-wrote and Administered a fatherhood grant working with young fathers and incarcerated fathers. Ran a fatherhood program in a Texas State jail and was Director of Incarcerated Programs for the National Fatherhood Initiative for a year and a half. I also raised two children now 22 and 26 who have excelled academically which I believe is from our learning the best practices in child rearing from the start.

BA in Social work in 1980 from New Mexico State University

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