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How would an American father feel?

A European should give birth to the American fathers daughter in Europe (he had sex with her in the United States) and not allow his daughter to visit the United States before child custody ends at 18, if Jeremy D. Morley is not able to reach a child custody agreement with the American father. This is because it is easier to protect children from an abuse American father in Europe than in the United States. Also if Jeremy D. Morley is not able to reach a child custody agreement with the American father, it is better not to have the American father around. The European women knows that 90 percent of American man in the United States cannot be trusted, because several European man have explained this to her.

My first thought was to just send you a "thank you" reply and say no more but I just have to say something.

First of all, I prefer to know who (by at least a first name) I am communicating with as your questions are so broad and general. You are either an attorney or a clerk doing research regarding a custody dispute for someone who we in New Mexico would refer to as "persona de poca luz."

You want to know how an american father would feel if a European woman whom he was stupid enough to have unprotected sex with became pregnant and he was denied contact with for the child's first 18 years.  In a nutshell, he should first feel stupid, then sad if he has any yearning at all for becoming a positive, nurturing and involved father as all fathers should be.

You believe that it is easiest for the father not to have contact with the child for the first 18 years because he either is or someone assumes that he would be abusive to the child. The woman knows 90% of American men can not be trusted as she learned this from several European men (she must have trusted them all the way to the bedroom as well), yet still had sex with the man.  They both should feel pretty stupid as they were both aware of the potential consequences. What ever happened to being responsible?  
(Able to respond to (or prevent) any situation).  Sorry, I don't have much patience for dim-wits.

You assume that the father is abusive and cannot be trusted so it is better not to have him involved with that child at all for the child's first 18 years.  Now if that is not based on significant evidence, do you have any idea of the potential harm you would be doing to the child by denying his/her contact with their father for 18 years?  You are thinking only for your client and not about the best interests of the child.  Perhaps parenthood is not something that you are experienced with.  Did you have both parents in your life?  Can you imagine what this does to a child?  

The ideal solution is to find a way that parents can trust each other enough to always put what is best for the child first and both learning what they need to know to be the best possible parents they can be.  This, followed by clear and positive communication with each other to make sure that they are consistent in their methods of raising that child will produce the best results.  Positive, nurturing, involved parents produce the most capable children even if they do not live in the same house. This is not possible if there is not a foundation of trust between them.  

It should not be about what is easiest to reach a settlement, but what is best for the child.  If you choose to leave the father totally out of the child's life for 18 years, you are doing great harm to that child.  

Find out all you can about the father, ask him and the mother to participate in not only a parenting program (together if possible to build mutual trust and learn the same methods), but programs/counseling to address any other issues such as anger management or substance abuse if applicable for either or both parents as needs identify.  Stupidity can be cured through the right kind of education....turn the light on!

I hope that you can find a way to help the child.



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Marcos Torres


I can answer many questions regarding child development, best practices in child care and the fathers role in his children's development.


10 years as a child protective services investigator, 10 years administrator of a residential nonprofit program for developmentally disabled adults and children, 2 years working with parents facilitating a parenting group of first time parents with my wife using the MELD curriculum in the early 80's. Co-wrote and Administered a fatherhood grant working with young fathers and incarcerated fathers. Ran a fatherhood program in a Texas State jail and was Director of Incarcerated Programs for the National Fatherhood Initiative for a year and a half. I also raised two children now 22 and 26 who have excelled academically which I believe is from our learning the best practices in child rearing from the start.

BA in Social work in 1980 from New Mexico State University

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