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Fatherhood/Is it fair for a child that if her


QUESTION: Is it fair for a child that if her biological father did not have the legal right that she must live with him from birth until child custody ends at age 18 (mother is not custodial parent), she would not be alive today because her father would never had sex with her mother? Before a man has sex with women a divorce lawyer can tell him in advance if this right has. European women tell her that she should be very lucky that she has a very good father.

ANSWER: Your question does not make sense to me.  First of all, I cannot answer what is fair, things are simply what they are.  I assume you mean that the child would no be alive today because of her father and mother having had consensual sex resulting in pregnancy and this child?  If this is a fact, why bother yourself about what if?  It is simply the situation you have and nothing can change that, get over it and go on with your life and quit blaming others for it.  Really, who asks a lawyer for advice on possible consequences before having sex with anyone else?  If she has a loving father then that is what she has.  No one can change the past, accept it and move on.  Perhaps she will more responsible about sex when she grows up.

Please, have the individuals ask their own questions, I would much rather communicate with real people that are experiencing problems.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Should the mother complain? He daughter is raised by an Italian women and the father who is not Italian, makes her learn Italian. The mother knows that her child has a better home than most children have, but she is only allowed to see her child on the weekends.

Learning a second or more language is always beneficial for anyone.  If the mother wants more visitation than weekends and the custodial parent does not agree, that must be resolved in court.  All depends on what and if any existing court order stipulates.  If there is no order, it is simply up to the parents to come up with a plan that will work for both.


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Marcos Torres


I can answer many questions regarding child development, best practices in child care and the fathers role in his children's development.


10 years as a child protective services investigator, 10 years administrator of a residential nonprofit program for developmentally disabled adults and children, 2 years working with parents facilitating a parenting group of first time parents with my wife using the MELD curriculum in the early 80's. Co-wrote and Administered a fatherhood grant working with young fathers and incarcerated fathers. Ran a fatherhood program in a Texas State jail and was Director of Incarcerated Programs for the National Fatherhood Initiative for a year and a half. I also raised two children now 22 and 26 who have excelled academically which I believe is from our learning the best practices in child rearing from the start.

BA in Social work in 1980 from New Mexico State University

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