Female Masturbation/Orgasm help


Question
Why is that the only way I can reach orgasm is if I play with my clit? This gets very frustrating when having sex with my boyfriend. When we are having sex and he's inside me I have no feeling at all. Is there any way to get an orgasm without having to play with my clit?

Answer
Hi Jessica!
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you're having. Unfortunately many, many women have this problem. There's no magic bullet I can suggest that would change the way your body receives pleasure. About the only advice that I can give you is to take a break from masturbation for at least a few weeks, and then either try sex or try masturbation only by inserting your fingers or an object, and no clit stimulation. This will test whether or not you can begin to reprogram your body. If you still feel no pleasure you will need to find ways to incorporate clit stimulation into your sexual activities. Ask your boyfriend to go down on you once in a while and focus on your clit. While he's inside you, either reach your hand down and touch yourself or ask him to. Different positions may also stimulate your clit more. Finally you can just be honest with your boyfriend, and occasionally just masturbate together. You don't always need to have sex the way he wants to, for his enjoyment. Sex should always be about making both of you feel good, so masturbating together should be enjoyable for both of you, and it's not a big sacrifice for him at all.
Good luck sweetie!
-Heather

Female Masturbation

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Heather Smith

Expertise

I can answer most questions about male and female masturbation including physical, mental and ethical aspects. I've helped many girls and women, and some men, with issues like not enough pleasure, too much or too little masturbation, mutual masturbation and teaching others, and using it to improve your sex life or life in general. If I do not already know the answer to your question, I will gladly find it or refer you to someone who does.

Experience

I have helped my sisters and friends learn how to pleasure themselves growing up. I was always the one my friends would ask about it and I would try to help find the right solution for them. I am very comfortable talking about the subject and any problem associated with it. I believe there is always a solution to any problem, but I will not hesitate to refer someone to counseling if the problem warrants it. I strongly believe masturbation is a healthy part of living for both sexes, and can especially be important for women's sexual health and relationship success. I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology and have done a lot of research on masturbation, and how a healthy amount of it can be a positive part of a young person's life, and an uplifting part of a relationship or marriage later in life. Personally I have been masturbating since I was 11 years old, and I have tried just about every trick in the book. I know what worked for me, what works for most people, and what is just a bad idea.

Organizations
Volunteered for one year at a local soup kitchen which also counseled clients. Worked one-on-one with clients as a Volunteer Life Counselor there, finding solutions to financial, shelter and clothing needs.

Education/Credentials
G.E.D. acquired. Bachelor's Degree in Psychology from a Central Oklahoma University.

Past/Present Clients
I have helped many friends, my own sisters, college roommates, my friend's brother, a few men and women online.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.