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Female Masturbation/How to get rid of TMS for females

Im 18 and I have always masturbated by rubbing against objects like my bed instead of fingering myself. But the feeling has never lasted more than some minutes. Ive never been able to masturbate for more than 5 minutes. I've never tried to finger myself, but now that I try I do not feel any pleasure. How can I start to masturbate normally? Will I be able  to feel pleasure during normal intercourse?


   I am very sorry for the length of time it has taken me to respond.

    You are ok, its just a habitual behavior you have to first learn to over come. Chances are you have been rubbing since you were very young. A lot of girls do. You just need to discover what you like, and it is ok if your masturbation style isn't just like everyone else's. Instead of fingering yourself maybe you can lay on your stomach and rub yourself on your fingers. Just allow your self time to explore and get to know what you like and what works. You are unique and the only you there is, so however you masturbate is ok. Intercourse will be fine so long as you communicate. If something doesn't feel good then don't be afraid to change the way you do it. Also do not be afraid to vocalize what works and what doesn't. I have attached an article also that may offer addition help.

I hope I was able to help you.


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Pamela O'Brien


Q&A Example: Question: My boyfriend and I are not seeing eye to eye on the topic of masterbation. I like touching myself and he believes masterbation is gross. Is it wrong? And if not how much is considered unhealthy? Answer: Felicia, I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with this. First let me say masturbation is not unhealthy, on the contrary self stimulation can be very healthy. I am sure he believes its gross due to the way he was taught to view sex. There are many places online such as Web Md where you and your boyfriend can read about the benefits of masturbation. I would make it about exploring together and getting to know your boundaries. Communication is the key, and it is very important that he feel comfortable enough to view the topic with an open mind. Masturbation is very good for reducing stress, which can reduce head aches as well as mood swings. Keep in mind that to be overly indulgent, as with anything can be a bad thing. It is not wrong to explore your body and to feel pleasure, as long as you are doing it in a safe place and being respectful to those you share space with. Some religions say it is a sin. That is not for me to dispute, you have to know where you stand on the issue. If it is ok with your belief system, then don’t worry. Open a line of communication, sort of an anything goes “family meeting”. Explain your point of view, but also be willing to hear his. Help him find his comfort level and be willing to compromise. Maybe the next time you masturbate you can use his hand instead of yours, by placing your hand over his and guiding it to the right place. Then you are exploring together and he is learning what you like at the same time. I hope this has helped, Good Luck.. MissPammy =)


I have had many years of experience in this area. Along side being a woman, I am an avid researcher. I also have a group of ladies that I gather with and we have a round table style discussion panel. If you would like to read more, I have started an advice column as well as a review blog, websites listed below.

I am the co-founder for a non profit organization called Trust-N-You. We help displaced families/individuals become acclimated back in the community. We also provide group counseling and work with the local out reach community to provide update care for as many as we can.

My review blog: My advice column:

I have completed Anatomy and Physiology 1 and 2, Microbiology, Nutrition, Medical Terminology, Philosophy, as well as Developmental Psychology and Public Speaking. I am currently attending Seminole State College to obtain my AA-Pre Psychology. Giving me the ability to duel enroll at UCF for my Bachelors in Psychology.

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