Female Masturbation/masterbating

im 15 and i started msterbating two years ago my mom knows but doesnt care I do it naked in my room is it okay to use baby oil on my clit. My mom doesnt want me to use any kind of lube. also my boyfriend wants to start having sex but im a virgin and hes fucked lots of other girls before how should go upon having sex with him¿

Hello Kayla,

Thank you for your question.

Baby Oil is made of oil which is a petroleum product. Oils and female genitalia don't go together well.

Petrochemicals- Petrochemicals in oil-based products such as Mineral Oil (Liquidum Paraffinum) and Petrolatum (petroleum jelly), coat the skin halting the vagina’s ability to “flush” itself, leaving you open to bacterial or other infections.  It can take the vagina 3-5 days to break down and get rid of oils, so oil-based lubes should not be used for vaginal or anal sex and are only recommended as male masturbatory aids.  They are also linked to cancer or other significant health problems.  Petrochemicals have been restricted in cosmetic manufacturing; however oil-based lubricants are made with petrochemicals.

So, you could use an oil based lube for clitoral stimulation only, but it is likely you could get it in or near the vagina, so I don't recommend them.  If you are going to use an oil, you should use a natural one like olive oil (that is used for cooking).  However, I'm not sure why your Mom doesn't want you to use a lube, but I would recommend a water-based sexual lubricant for masturbation as it is the safest to use on the female genitals.

Part 2 of your question is should you have sex with your boyfriend. I can't answer this question for you, as it is every person's own choice as to when they are ready to have sex.  

If you do decide to have sex, make sure it is safe sex and use a condom, whether it is oral, vaginal or anal sex, always use a condom, to protect yourself from STDs, bacterial infections, pregnancy,  and HIV (the AIDS virus).  Also, the reason to have sex should be because you want this, not because your boyfriend does. You have to be ready for it as it is a big step and you don't want to end up making a mistake or doing something you might later regret.  Being a virgin is fine and there are other things you can do together without having sex if you are not ready.  Just don't rush into something because you feel he wants it, or is pressuring you. You want it to be a good experience.

Check out this great resource at Scarleteen on choosing to have sex for the first time and sexual relationships-

And, this one as well-

Also, you can ask questions at Scarleteen and they are very helpful.

I hope this has answered your questions.  Please let me know if you need more information or advice.


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I am happy to answer any questions about masturbation and human sexuality. Is masturbation good for you? Yes! Find out why? Do you have feelings about guilt when you masturbate? How often is normal? What are good methods to use during masturbation? What about sex toys? My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure, sexual anatomy, the sexual response cycle, the clitoris, the G-spot, as well as ways to prolong orgasms, have continuous and multiple orgasm including breath/energy orgasm techniques, tantra, and more...


As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sexuality expert.

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