You are here:

Female Masturbation/Difficulties orgasming

QUESTION: I've never had an orgasm and im 20 years old. I know that everyone says that you have to stop expecting to orgasm when masturbating and it will just happen but it does not seem to be working. I haven't had an orgasm with my partner and ive been trying to do it myself through masterbation but it just doesnt seem to be working and its getting extremely frustrating! I want to orgasm with my partner but i need to figure it out with myself first and i need help.?

ANSWER: For some women it is much harder to orgasm.

Are you on any medications?

Were you sexually abused?

I know those are two very person questions, but they will help use out so we can find a way for you to orgasm.

Have you ever tried toys?

Please get back to me with those answers, and we can work on it :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: No medications and never abused.. I do have a few toys and when I use them its great but I can never seem to realease all of the tension that builds up. Its almost like its too sensitive, whether I'm using a toy on my clitorus or its my partners tongue.. Its like being tickled I just tense up and sqirm because I can't handle it and its so hard to relax and release the tension that's there.

When you are alone next time, try putting a towel over your clit and then your vibrator, and see if that works.

Usually when women have as sensitive clit as you do, then they orgasm easily, but this sounds like it is tickling. What if your partner is licking you and fingering you at the same time ... do you orgasm then?  

Female Masturbation

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Angie B..


I can answer any questions related to female masturbation. I have had a psychology practice in the state of Florida for the past ten years. I deal with, but not exclusively, females who have or are dealing with many types of sexual changes. There are NO questions that are wrong to ask about masturbation. I take every questions seriously, and will help you in anyway I can. Please feel free to ask anything, and know you will get my best advice and judgment. I have included a photo of myself on my profile. This is so you can see who you are talking to. :)


As previous stated, I have practiced over ten year in helping teen and adults overcome numerous sexual anxiety, questions about masturbation, and sexual desires --- all of which were done on a clinic level.

I have a Maser's Degree in Human Sexuality from the University of Miami. I also have a Master's Degree in Psychology from the Florida State University.

Past/Present Clients
Because of the sensitivity of the issue, I would never release names of pasts clients.

©2016 All rights reserved.