Female Masturbation/too much

Hello, its very kind of you to advise people. Im young and recently married. Ive been having trouble performing,because, unfortunately, I still masturbate. And then my sex drive is much lower and it really affects our sexual relationship. (My wife has a very strong sex drive.) Masturbation, as hood as it feels and I believe it is healthy, is against my religous beliefs.  Ive tried but I cant seem to stop. Any advice would be great.( I donr know if it makes a difference but i was a virgin before I got married)

Hi Charles,
There's not much advice I can offer, other than to just keep working on your willpower. There's no magic pill someone can take to make them exercise and lose weight or eat right or masturbate less. You just have to take the disappointment that you feel when you can't perform for your wife and use that to bring masturbation down to once or twice a week. If it's that low, it should not affect your ability to perform at all. Any other performance problems you experience after that are related to mental or physical distractions or causes.
Good Luck!
In the future, please review the categories here at All Experts and ask someone in a more general sex or masturbation category, as this one is listed "Female Masturbation."
Thank You

Female Masturbation

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Heather Smith


I can answer most questions about male and female masturbation including physical, mental and ethical aspects. I've helped many girls and women, and some men, with issues like not enough pleasure, too much or too little masturbation, mutual masturbation and teaching others, and using it to improve your sex life or life in general. If I do not already know the answer to your question, I will gladly find it or refer you to someone who does.


I have helped my sisters and friends learn how to pleasure themselves growing up. I was always the one my friends would ask about it and I would try to help find the right solution for them. I am very comfortable talking about the subject and any problem associated with it. I believe there is always a solution to any problem, but I will not hesitate to refer someone to counseling if the problem warrants it. I strongly believe masturbation is a healthy part of living for both sexes, and can especially be important for women's sexual health and relationship success. I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology and have done a lot of research on masturbation, and how a healthy amount of it can be a positive part of a young person's life, and an uplifting part of a relationship or marriage later in life. Personally I have been masturbating since I was 11 years old, and I have tried just about every trick in the book. I know what worked for me, what works for most people, and what is just a bad idea.

Volunteered for one year at a local soup kitchen which also counseled clients. Worked one-on-one with clients as a Volunteer Life Counselor there, finding solutions to financial, shelter and clothing needs.

G.E.D. acquired. Bachelor's Degree in Psychology from a Central Oklahoma University.

Past/Present Clients
I have helped many friends, my own sisters, college roommates, my friend's brother, a few men and women online.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.