Female Masturbation/Am I normal?

Hi Domina!

I'm a single 19 year old girl from the UK who has just started uni.  I love masturbation and have been doing it virtually every night for the last few months - however, I have a rather bizarre method for pleasuring myself: I lie face down on my bed, head buried in the pillow, and rub myself passionately against the mattress, sometimes with the help of a clenched fist on my genitals, wrapped up all warm and cosy in my blanket.  This method has become like a ritual for me - I do it everyday before going to bed, and there's always a sensual, intense, and heavenly release that soothes my mind and brings me sweet dreams.  It's my secret garden and my favourite pastime, a beautiful throb in my belly that needs to be taken care of daily!  My concern is that I will never be able to orgasm in any other way and that my special technique is sexually abnormal.  Are there other girls who are in a similar situation, or am I just a freak?  I'm far too shy to talk about it with friends.  What's more, I've never had a sexual partner and am afraid that my obsessive solitary ecstasies may prevent me from pursuing an intimate relationship and opening up to people.  On the other hand, I don't want to give up my precious little habit, despite some residue of guilt.  Could you please give me some advice and respond in some way to all my worries?  I'm just an inexperience girl trying to discover herself...  Thanks for your patience!

xxxxx Elaine

Hello Elaine,

    First let me just tell you that you are not a freak! What you are experiencing is completely normal. Your technique is not so unusual. There are a lot of females who like to masturbate the same way. The frequency is not an issue either. Everyone has different sexual needs. Some have the urge 3-4 x's a day. Some only need it once a month. Please understand in all of the things you are experiencing you are not the only one feeling them.

   As far as you meeting someone, your masturbational needs should not hinder you actually meeting someone and dating. Once you do meet some one, when it is the right time you slowly introduce them to your joyful activity and you can both find ways to incorporate a partner in to your technique.

    As long as you are not hurting yourself or others, I do not believe that you should have any reason to have to give up your routine. =)

Hope this was helpful


Female Masturbation

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Pamela O'Brien


Q&A Example: Question: My boyfriend and I are not seeing eye to eye on the topic of masterbation. I like touching myself and he believes masterbation is gross. Is it wrong? And if not how much is considered unhealthy? Answer: Felicia, I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with this. First let me say masturbation is not unhealthy, on the contrary self stimulation can be very healthy. I am sure he believes its gross due to the way he was taught to view sex. There are many places online such as Web Md where you and your boyfriend can read about the benefits of masturbation. I would make it about exploring together and getting to know your boundaries. Communication is the key, and it is very important that he feel comfortable enough to view the topic with an open mind. Masturbation is very good for reducing stress, which can reduce head aches as well as mood swings. Keep in mind that to be overly indulgent, as with anything can be a bad thing. It is not wrong to explore your body and to feel pleasure, as long as you are doing it in a safe place and being respectful to those you share space with. Some religions say it is a sin. That is not for me to dispute, you have to know where you stand on the issue. If it is ok with your belief system, then don’t worry. Open a line of communication, sort of an anything goes “family meeting”. Explain your point of view, but also be willing to hear his. Help him find his comfort level and be willing to compromise. Maybe the next time you masturbate you can use his hand instead of yours, by placing your hand over his and guiding it to the right place. Then you are exploring together and he is learning what you like at the same time. I hope this has helped, Good Luck.. MissPammy =)


I have had many years of experience in this area. Along side being a woman, I am an avid researcher. I also have a group of ladies that I gather with and we have a round table style discussion panel. If you would like to read more, I have started an advice column as well as a review blog, websites listed below.

I am the co-founder for a non profit organization called Trust-N-You. We help displaced families/individuals become acclimated back in the community. We also provide group counseling and work with the local out reach community to provide update care for as many as we can.

My review blog: http://misspammy.sensualwriter.com/ My advice column: http://askmisspammy.wordpress.com/

I have completed Anatomy and Physiology 1 and 2, Microbiology, Nutrition, Medical Terminology, Philosophy, as well as Developmental Psychology and Public Speaking. I am currently attending Seminole State College to obtain my AA-Pre Psychology. Giving me the ability to duel enroll at UCF for my Bachelors in Psychology.

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