QUESTION: I'm 22 years old and a virgin. I have been trying to masturbate for a few years now, but can't ever reach anything close to an orgasm. I try to stimulate my nipples, but it doesn't really do anything for me. I rub my clit and it feels good for a little while, but then just stops feeling good after a few minutes. I've tried the whole breathing slow and rubbing/loving my body before touching myself, but it doesn't help.
I recently caved and bought a vibrator, and it feels good, but doesn't get me anywhere close to an orgasm either.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if there is something wrong with me.
ANSWER: Emily, Im sorry to hear you are not reaching an orgasm when you masturbate. I know that is quite frustrating for you. Give me an idea of your general health. Are you taking birth control or any other medications? And what about the food you eat? Do you usually eat a fairly balanced diet? Do you take vitamins or other supplements? Is their any history of sexual abuse in your background?
We may need to discuss in detail just how you are stimulatng yourself while masturbating. Every woman responds differently. I will be happy to help if you want some specific suggestions for touching, technique, and breathing.
Do a followup question and let me know in detail how you touch and whether you use lubrication or not, if you produce enough wetness of your own, how often you get aroused and feel like you want to masturbate. And anything else that comes to mind. I will do my best to help you orgasm.
[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: I do take birth control pills, but no other medications or supplements. I eat a balanced diet, get lots of exercise, sleep well, and have no history of sexual abuse. I'm very healthy. I don't use lubrication and I think I produce enough wetness on my own. I try to masturbate a few times a week, but normally give up after 30-60 minutes. I have tried to touch myself in different ways and can't seem to find anything that works for me. I think that I just don't know what I'm doing and it is very frustrating.
Thanks for sharing your information Emily. I know this is very personal. I appreciate your openness. It is essential to remain open and to give any information you think of so that you can get the help you need.
Birth control pills do affect your hormones. I dont know how long you have taken the pills, but did you happen to notice any difference in your sexual feelings when you started using B/C? (specifically how good it felt to touch yourself, and how aroused you became while masturbating)
I believe you are wanting help. Will you allow me to help you in a 1 on 1 session? Of course it is entirely up to you. Just let me know.