Female Masturbation/can't orgasm


Question
I started masturbating a couple years ago and no matter what i do i just end up frustrated and getting nowhere. It feels good, yes, but i just wind up tired before it amounts to anything. I keep trying different tips from sites like this, but nothing seems to get me there. what can i do to finally experience this?

Answer
Hi Erin,
I have answered questions similar to yours before, but it is probably a good idea to repost my answer here.  If you follow this, you will begin to experience mind-blowing orgasms in no time.
First remember, it is really important to set the mood and be in the right mindset.  I have heard several experts say that the biggest sex organ is the brain.  So it is important to set the mood – in a positive light.  You might even try reading an erotic novel.  It seems like more and more women are watching porn these days since it is so readily available on the Internet, but it’s not for every woman.  And erotic novels have been around forever.  I am sure you heard about the erotic novel, Fifty Shades of Grey.  This novel really brought the notion of female erotica to the forefront.  So if you want to look at porn or read an erotic novel to get in the mood, I am all for that.  Remember – be positive.  
So here is what I like.  Usually I just shower, but when I am feeling frisky (horny), I like a long hot bath. After, I dry off and take plenty of lotion with me to my bedroom. I make sure the door is locked and I lay down on the bed, with my head and shoulders propped up on a couple of pillows. I start out just applying my lotion. I rub it into my legs, slowly and deliberately covering every inch, up my calves, my inner thighs and all over. I work up my belly to my perky breasts and cup each one in my hands. It feels so nice to be touched gently, the way a girl really likes it. I close my eyes and lay back, rubbing in large circles around and over my breasts with the palm of my hands, rubbing in the lotion and taking in the feelings. I am becoming aroused, and my nipples get hard. With my fingers, I trace around my nipples and get them harder. I pull on them and pinch them just a little. Sometimes I think there is a direct connection from my nipples to my clitoris - it sure feels that way at least. You may want to add nipple play to whatever way you masturbate to increase the sensations. It does add to it. Well, I keep one hand at my breasts and slowly move down with my other hand. I start playing and rubbing the mons area. I open my legs a bit and reach down with my hand. I am already getting wet, and I get some of the wetness on my fingertip and slide my finger up between my lips to my waiting clitoris. I move up one side of my clitoris and back down the other to get some more slippery wetness on my finger, then back up and down again. It feels a lot better if your finger is slippery when you rub it against your clitoris. Now, I am not directly touching it, not yet at least. I am just keeping it slippery, feeling the sensations grow. I begin moving my finger a little faster and faster, it feels so good. After a short while, I am really excited, and I take my hand from my breasts and probe in my wet vaginal opening. It is very important to be lubricated (wet) here before you try to penetrate into your vagina. Once lubricated a bit, I slowly slip just one finger inside, but penetration is NOT necessary to orgasm. As I continue to rub my clitoris with my other hand, I feel myself tighten my pc muscles almost automatically, and as I tighten I begin to climb towards my climax. That’s what I call it as I approach orgasm - a “climb” because it feels like I am climbing a mountain or something to reach the peak or summit.  I continue rubbing my and by now, my toes are curling with the sensations of pleasure. I am moving my fingers faster and faster, rubbing the right spots on my clitoris. I am tightening my pc muscle, and I find I am also holding my breath as I get close to my climax. I bring myself as close to orgasm as I can without going over the top – then I relax and let myself drift back just a little, then I tighten and climb back up again. I do this over and over - getting closer and closer until I finally cannot hold back any longer and I explode in a series of moans, shudders and waves of pleasure.
When you are rubbing your clitoris and getting close, remember to tighten the pc muscles inside your vagina like I told you. Tense that pc muscle and hold it while you continue to rub your clitoris. You’ll feel this feeling inside you begin to grow and grow. Continue rubbing until you cannot hold the pc muscle tense any longer and when you release - while still rubbing -you will feel this intense wave of pleasure. Sometimes it feels like energy is shooting from the bottom of my feet and the top of my head, with the center at my clitoris. Believe me, when you have an orgasm, you will know it for sure. Afterwards you’ll feel contented and relaxed and satisfied.
Perhaps the simplest and most common way to masturbate doesn’t involve touching anything with your hand at all. In fact, there is a good chance that you did something like this at one time or another, and you probably did not realize you were masturbating. You know, I remember doing something like this when I was only 5 or 6 years old. You see, I had this big stuffed lion I always kept on my bed named Leo. He had this long rather thick tail. Well, I remember many times lying on my stomach, with Leo’s big tail between my legs. I always would have my panties on, and often my pants as well – it didn’t matter. But Leo’s tail was big and thick enough that I could push my hips down into my bed and Leo’s tail. Looking back on it now, his tail was in perfect position so I was pushing my mons and clitoris down against his tail. I remembered it felt good to me and I spent many nights doing this from time to time. I do not think I had a real orgasm or anything, but it really felt wonderful. I am sure a lot of girls have done something similar. You can roll up a corner of your pillow and push yourself into the corner of your pillow. Other girls roll up the edge of their sheets or blankets into a little ball and hump that. Or you can roll up some socks. One girl even said she used a tennis ball. More than one girl has told me that she likes to use the back or the arm of the family couch. Most couches have a big seam on the cushions, and she said that she likes to sort of straddle the back of the couch with the seam pressing right on her clitoris. This one girl said that she liked to wait until her parents were gone, and then she would take off her pants and panties, put a towel over the edge of the couch (you know why) and hump the seam on the edge of the couch. That always seemed exciting to me. Anyway, find out where it feels best to push down and make sure you are hitting at or near your clitoris at the highest point of whatever you are using (humping). You’ll know when because it will be pleasurable. Then try different speeds of humping. Again, this sounds silly, but you’ll discover that at different times during masturbating you’ll prefer it slow, other times fast. Also try out different pressures when you push down. Sometimes the lightest touch of something barely bumping against my clitoris sends waves of pleasure throughout my body. Other times it’s like I am trying to push through my mattress to the floor below I am pushing so hard. You just have to experiment and see what feels best at different times. Now, let’s add the pc muscle to the mix.  Once you have a good rhythm of humping going, try tightening your pc muscle as you hump your pillow (or stuffed animal or whatever). You’ll notice a major increase in the sensations of pleasure as you do this. Something else I like to do. As the feelings of pleasure become more intense, I begin to hold my breath while tightening my pc muscle and humping my pillow. As the pleasure builds hold the pc muscle tight as long as you can. I have to do this to climax, but it may not be necessary for all girls to do it. Try it out and see. Another trick is something I love to do. Once you have figured out what feels good, and when you have mastered reaching orgasm (notice the play on words?), you may want to try this. What I do is try to get as close as I can to my climax without actually “going over.” When I feel that I am about to orgasm, I stop moving altogether and relax my pc muscle and let myself come down just a little. Then I tighten again and begin humping once again. Then when I get real close, I relax again. I keep on doing this until I cannot stand it any longer and let myself go. The orgasms are so intense this way, and it is like I am in a constant state of “almost climaxing” for an extended period of time. This feels so good. I love it.
So this can be our starting point.  I have said a lot here, but hopefully something I have written will help you.  You can also contact me at nikkigolden55@yahoo.com for more.  Together we’ll have you having those mind-blowing orgasms I love so much!
I do hope that this helps!
Nikki

Female Masturbation

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Nikki

Expertise

I can answer all questions regarding female masturbation. I can help you reach an orgasm by masturbating, reassure you that your masturbation habits are normal, and assist you in discovering your sexual self. I am non-judgmental and caring by nature.

Experience

I have studied female masturbation for over 20 years and am an avid masturbator myself. My research has involved one-on-one interactions, personal experiences, case studies, epidemiology, and field and computer-assisted research.

Education/Credentials
I have a doctorate in biological sciences, but female masturbation has been a primary interest of mine even before I received my PhD. My goal is to assist women of all ages so that they learn that there is no shame associated with masturbation. It is a natural act that has been repressed (i.e., guilt provoking) for far too long. Women deserve pleasure the same as men, and masturbation is the best way to learn what feels good. Once they learn, women can show their partners what they like.

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