Female Masturbation/Step Daughter

QUESTION: I am a 35 year old man. I married a widow who has a 13 year old daughter 3 years ago. My wife works in the airline industry and I have to frequently take care of my step daughter on my own.

Recently since the past few months my step daughter has started masturbating in front of me. She puts her hand inside her skirt and I can see the pleasure in her face as she stimulates herself. Occasionally she sits on my thighs and likes to rub herself on them as we are watching tv. Another thing she does is that she likes to get'caught' masturbating. Sometimes when I walk into her room she is completely nude while masturbating. She pretends to be embarrassed but I can see that she enjoys me watching her masturbating.

I admit that I find it a turn on when she masturbates in front of me. I have never touched her in a sexual way, and don't intend to ever do so in the future. But I want to ask you if it is ok for me to continue to enjoy this or is this harmful in the long run. Also please tell me any advice I should give to my daughter.

ANSWER: Hi Ross,
What an interesting situation you are in.
My young daughter is not quite 13 but certainly isn't afraid to make her sexuality known around the house and she is not afraid to masturbate in front of me, although I suspect it is a thrill for her to do so because someone is watching... not necessarily because she is attracted to me. In your case however it sounds like your daughter is most certainly attracted to you and that feeds her sexuality and interest in you.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you of the possible implications of allowing any physical contact with her, and I won't suggest it, but I also won't judge you either way.
The safest option is simple to tell your daughter that it is inappropriate to rub herself on you and that she needs to masturbate only in private.
I suspect though that you very much enjoy watching her masturbate in her skirts and I'm sure you enjoy her rubbing herself on you as well.
When you catch her masturbating do you stay and watch or leave immediately?
Does she try to cover up, or continue masturbating once she is caught?

Has she ever asked you about your penis, or tried to touch it? Do you get an erection when she rubs herself on you?

I think it will be difficult to avoid touching her in the near future. I do not think that even if my own daughters was doing everything you said your daughter was doing that it would be easy for me to not get more involved.


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QUESTION: I do enjoy watching her masturbate. It's not that I want to have sex with her but there is a thrill in watching a young lady masturbate especially since she is not my own biological daughter.

She doesn't wear any panties under her skirts and I often find her in positions that expose her intimate areas to me. She likes to be caught masturbating or in the nude by me. If I walk into her room and find her nude or masturbating I usually try to leave but she sometimes calls me back and asks me some pointless question or makes a silly excuse to make me stay as she continues to masturbate. She does that at the beach as well where she has a habit of peeling down her swimsuit bottoms before asking me to apply some lotion on her back and legs.

I don't get an erection by watching her in the nude as I don't get aroused by looking at young girls but I do get an erection when she masturbates or rubs herself against me. She hasn't talked to me about sex or masturbating or about my penis. When she does sit on in my lap she likes to sit higher sometimes directly over my penis, which I find to be pleasurable but usually push her down. There is a temptation ofcourse of bringing my penis out and showing her but I won't do that.

Even though I said in my previous question that I won't touch her sexually I find it difficult to keep that promise. When she is masturbating by rubbing herself on my legs I find my hand drifting towards her thighs and under her skirt though I always pull back. I sometimes wish I could just lift her skirt and bring her off by rubbing her vulva. I feel guilty about that. But in any case I would like to teach her to pleasure herself in other ways as well. Please advice.

Hi again,
Thank you for getting back to me. You know I can't advise you to do anything the world considers 'wrong', I can only advise you to take your daughter's best interest to heart.
The attraction she feels for you may be mostly due to her age and hormones and may pass, which may lead her to strongly regret any steps you do take today. It will also be a very slippery slope once you do start, and very difficult to not let it go all the way to oral sex and intercourse.
At the same time, it's clear that her attraction for you is strong and has been going on for a while since she is so comfortable expressing it.
Perhaps you could have a talk with her about how natural masturbation is and encourage her to do that, possibly even encourage her to do it whenever she feels like it, even around you, if it helps her avoid physical contact with you.
I am curious if there has been any physical touching so far?
You said she peels her swimsuit bottoms down before you apply sun tan lotion, does this mean you've applied the lotion to her buttocks?
I can understand this being a temptation for you, she sound like a very erotic young lady!
I would love for you to email me at beachbumchick1@yahoo.com so we can continue chatting.
With Love,

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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