Female Masturbation/Masturbation

QUESTION: My question is what can I use/do to have better orgasms ? I just turned 18 in January and started masturbating when I was 15 . Last year I had sex for the first time with my then boyfriend . Even  though he was a little on the small size he gave me good orgasms.

I don't really want a relationship now because I'm suppose to be going to university in September . I want better orgasms but am to shy to go buy an adult toy . What can I do ?

ANSWER: Hi Rachelle!
Great question. I'm afraid there's no easy answer because all of our bodies and minds are different. I included the word minds because the most powerful sexual tool in the world is your own mind. Think about it, if someone just came up to you and grabbed your pussy, it probably wouldn't feel that good most of the time. But yet, with no touching at all, you can look at a hot guy or girl and fantasize about them and get very wet, I know I can. It begins and ends in your mind. What kind of things do you like to fantasize about? We all have something. Sometimes our fantasies can be a little strange or taboo, but that's ok. Usually the more wrong it is the more it excites us. everything from being forced, to daddy/daughter, to sister/sister, I've heard them all, and they work better then the best toy. So my advice us to think back about the things that have excited you most, the things that made you wet all day, that made you masturbate all day, think about those, maybe look up  stories about it online, and enjoy ;)
I have some follow up questions:
How often do to masturbate?
Have you ever used a toy?
Is you're ex bf the only one you've had fun with?
What feels best when you play with yourself?  
How wet are you, usually?
Do you usually masturbate to feel good or relieve tension?
How often are you horny?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I usually fantasize about one of 2 guys I work with when I masturbate . I almost always masturbate 2 times a day sometimes more . I've never used a toy just my fingers . My ex bf is the only one I've had sex with but a lot of fore play with another guy making each other orgasm . Sliding my finger from the top of my clitorus to inside my vigina and back all the way up and so on makes me feel best . I am usually wet enough that I can slide my fingers in before I even touch myself sometimes my thong has a wet spot . I always masturbate for pleasure and I seem to be horny  most of the day .

Hi again sweetheart,
Thanks for answering my questions. You sound like a wonderful young lady with a very healthy sex drive! I certainly know what it's like to have a wet spot in my panties ;)
You said that you don't want a relationship because you're headed off to University soon right? But the target of your fantasies are two men you work with, so how would you feel about exploring with one or both of them sexually without a relationship? You don't have to have commitment to have good orgasms ;)
Also, I'm not sure where you live but in the U.S. we have stores in our shopping malls called Spencers, where it's very easy to shop there, and they have adult toys even though they're in a regular shopping center. Is there anything like that near you?
Another possibility is that if you are able to speak online with me I can go into more detail about some masturbation techniques that can give you more pleasure. You can reach me via yahoo messenger at beachbumchick1@yahoo.com
One thing I haven't yet asked is if you've ever been attracted to women or ever thought about them when you masturbate?
I look forward to talking with you more!
With Love,

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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