Female Masturbation/hi

ok so i have a few questions that I've been meaning to ask someone, but didn't want to do it personally (it's kind of embarrassing)

me and my friends were talking about masturbation, and along that topic, i discovered that my friends get "really wet." not just one friend, but a few. this kind of concerned me because i don't really get wet. it makes me wonder if this is normal or not. my friend said she "flicks her bean" and to be honest the only way i can actually get some sort of pleasure from "flicking my bean" is by rubbing it a bit roughly against the carpet. this makes me think like I've lost my sensitivity to my clitoris. my friend said she rubs it with her finger, and that seems to do well for her. me, not so much. i have to actually lay on the carpet and rub it against the carpet to get a sensation out of it. now, i used to masturbate like this almost every day, so could this lead to less pleasure by doing it so frequently?

not too long ago, i bought myself a toy called the "clit kisser" when  i use this toy, i use the vibration on full blast and rub it against my clit, but i feel like i have to think my way into getting to the climax because once i reach that point, the feeling is overpowering. however, is it harmful to use this toy too often since the vibration is perhaps too rough on my clit? i noticed too,, that even when i use this toy, i don't experience wetness. perhaps a bit of a wet spot, but thats about it. i don't think i get wet enough, why could this be?

reading off from your expertise, i noticed you focus on "unhealthy" masturbation. can any of the following masturbations i perform be considered unhealthy?

thank you so much for your time on reading this, hope to hear from you soon!

Hi Michelle!
It will help to know how old you are.
But to answer your question, yes, rough humping, rough rubbing and a lot of vibration regular can desensitize your clit, unfortunately. I would not, though, consider anything you described as "unhealthy" at all. We all have our different methods for getting that wonderful orgasm; and as log as it doesn't hurt your or anyone else, it's usually just fine :)
There's more good news too: it can be reversed. A little bit of a vacation from rough masturbation and vibration will bring back your clit's sensitivity! That's all you have to do is just take a little time off. That's not to say that you'll suddenly be able to masturbate with just your fingers and easily reach orgasm by light touching after taking time off... everyone is different and our bodies all work differently. Some women will never be able to cum by light stimulation.
Regarding your wetness, don't sweat it! Everyone is different with this too, and some women just don't get very wet. It does have to to with how turned on you are, but if you find that you don't get wet enough even when you're very turned on, that is what lube is for ;)
Hope this helps! Have you considered masturbating with some of these friends to see how they do it and share experiences?
With Love,

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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