Female Masturbation/Help?

QUESTION: Hi Ashley,

I'm not really sure how where to start or what to say. I'm 15 years old, never had a boyfriend, never had sex, or any sexual experiences.

Lately I've been waking up humping my blankets and I understand that I was masturbating in my sleep. So I thought I'd try it out myself (when im awake).

I just stick with bunching up my blankets and humping them and it feels really good. But then like all of a sudden it just get...intense I guess.. and I stop. I feel really guilty about it afterwards, but it feels good at the time. I've never had an orgasm, but would like to.

I guess my questions are: is it normal to feel guilty afterwards? How do I stop myself from feeling guilty? and once I've been able to get those, how to have an orgasm.

Sarah :)

ANSWER: Hi Sarah!
Congratulations on joining the world of women masturbators ;) You are definitely not alone!

I have some questions that will help me help you :)
When you say it gets intense, intense good or intense bad? Like the pleasure increases? Or it gets more intense because your rubbing on the blankets too much and maybe rubbing yourself raw?
What is it that makes you stop? In other words, why don't you keep going when it gets intense?

Are you familiar with your vagina? Do you know where/what your clit is? Have you ever tried to rub yourself rather then hump?

It is definitely normal to feel guilty because society sometimes teaches us it's bad, or our parents do. It takes time before the guilt goes away. You just have to keep reminding yourself that masturbation is healthy, normal, and you're better off doing it rather then trying to starve your body of all sexual feeling whatsoever.

Get back to me with some answers and we'll go from there!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Ashley,

Thanks for the quick reply! :)

I would have to say that it is a good intense. The pleasure is definitely increasing. I'm not really sure what it is that makes me stop. It's like it gets all good and then I'm reminded of what exactly I'm doing and then feel guilty and can't keep going, even tho I want to.

I am somewhat familiar with my vagina I guess. I mean I know what my clit is, and have tried to find it but haven't really been all that successful. I found that humping felt better then anytime I've rubbed. But that could be because I'm not doing it right too.

Thanks again,

Hi again Sarah,
Sorry for the delay this time!
If it feels better to hump then stick with it! A lot of women have more pleasure that way and there's no harm in it :)
All I can advise you is to continue to tell yourself that it's OK and it's natural and you deserve it. Each time you masturbate, try to go a little further before you stop, until eventually you can keep going without your nagging thoughts getting in your way. The only way you'll ever orgasm is by relaxing, being OK with your body and your pleasure, and not stopping!
Good luck!

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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