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Female Masturbation/Boarding School Masturbation

Hi Ashley,
I'm 16 and I go to boarding school and at the moment all I really want to do before I sleep is masturbate. Over the summer I did it a lot but I have always used a vibrator. Firstly I am so scared of someone walking in and also I never really learned how to masturbate with my hands and can never organum from it. I can't do it in the shower as they are communal and people will know what I am doing. Is it wrong that I want to do this? and also how can I orgasum not using a vibrator, as people would definitely hear the vibrator.
Thank you!

Hi Amy! Thank you for your question, I get it a lot!
I completely understand the urge to masturbate before you go to sleep. Since I was about 11 until now I feel that just about every night too, you are not alone!
It's not wrong that you want to masturbate! Just like scratching an itch, eating when you're hungry, sleeping when you're tired, you're responding to what your body and brain tell you you need. It's that simple! What would you say to one of your friends who wants to know if it's wrong to want to eat? The body craves sexual release to encourage us to pro-create. The body doesn't know that in our culture and religious beliefs today that we believe it's best not to engage in sex until later. All your body knows is that it is sexually mature and ready to reproduce, and it's urging you to do so for the future of the species. Thankfully you don't have to go have sex with a boy to satisfy it, your hands and toys work just fine... very fine I bet ;)
It's going to be a little tougher to orgasm without your vibrator, and it will take time and practice but you'll get there! Try different ways of rubbing around and on your clit. That's the little bump underneath your lips near the top. It's really that simply, trial and error to see what feels best! BUT, if you try when you're not horny it will feel like you can't do anything right, so make sure your mind is stimulated first! You should be wet from fantasy before you expect it to feel really good from rubbing yourself. Remember the brain is your #1 sex organ.
Good luck and have fun!
Also, I'm certain most of the girls you room with do it too! Try to pay attention and see if you can prove it. If so you might be able to bring it up so all of you can masturbate at night without worrying what the others think!

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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