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Female Masturbation/Explaining masturbation to my daughter

Hi Ashley,

My daughter is 11 and we have a good and close relationship. She recently asked me about the things in my bedroom drawer (my toys). I told her they were for when I masturbated and i gave her a brief description of masturbation, and why we do it. She has since told me she has tried it herself but feels she is doing it wrong.

Am I a bad mom if I show her how and techniques?

Is this something other mums discus with their girls, and at what age?

Personally, I think it would be best to show her and let her learn the right way as I dont want her getting hung up about doing it wrong (as she sees it).


Hi Susan!
I tend to be more progressive and open-minded than society, but no I do not believe there is anything wrong with helping your daughter in this situation, as I have myself. I am lucky that my other was extremely open and honest about masturbation and sex and taught me a lot. Your daughter is at the age where everything really kicks into gear, so I do not believe it is too early. I think you are absolutely right to want her to do it right. You can teach her to stay clean, and make sure she never uses anything dirty, rough, or sharp. You can show her how to rub her clit so she doesn't have to penetrate to feel good, and many more things.
Good luck to you Super-Mom, let me know how it goes!!

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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