Female Masturbation/my teacher...

hey, ehm im a 16 year old girl and i have a question for you...

i`m in love with my teacher and we have been sleeping together for about a year now, he tells me that he loves me and that he wants to marry me when I become 18!!!!!,btw he is 30. I love him and he satisfies me like none else, and makes me happy!!! Is our relationship wrong???...

Hi Janette!
I'll be honest with you, it's really difficult to answer a "is it wrong" question!
You're not the first teen to fall for a teacher and he's not the first to fall for a student. Biologically, women are usually drawn to older, stable men who can take care of them, while men are drawn to young, fertile women. It's evolution, plain and simple. Couples made of older men, younger women had a higher chance of passing on their genes through offspring because the woman was as fertile as she was ever going to be, and the man was more stable, more likely to stick around defending her and her child. So, biologically speaking, no it's not wrong, it's natural.
Religiously speaking, yes it's wrong, but I'm not religious and won't assume you are, so we'll move on.
Here's the big one:
Instead of just talking about opinions or what's preached from a pulpit why don't we let numbers do the talking for us. If we define a relationship as wrong because it has an extremely high chance to end prematurely, than yes this relationship is wrong. There are thousands, hundreds of thousands of stories of teachers and students falling in love with each other, and for each stack of 1,000 stories, you might find one where they actually grow old together. I know that's harsh and I'm sorry, but it's the truth. What I'm saying is, once all the newness and sneaking around and illegal stuff is gone, once it's just you two as friends and companions living together, dealing with mundane daily things, fighting, screaming, trying to jockey for who's in charge and who works and who cleans the house and stuff, it gets really hard. So hard that only a small percentage of couples make it the long hall... and adding a big age difference in takes that very small chance and makes it microscopic.

When you struggle to even have regular conversations because he's worried about his retirement fund and the mortgage payment and you only care that your reality show is canceled, it's hard to find common ground to rest on.

So, yes, if we just look at the likelihood that you two will make it the long haul, it's very wrong. There's essentially a 99.9% chance that you will continue to have wild passionate amazing sex, and when you turn 18 he will move in with you, maybe marry you, and one day, when the newness has worn off, you'll suddenly realize that you never got to know this man as your best friend, and he'll feel like a stranger.

If you can be with him as a friend, just talk, just hang out, fight and make up, do regular boring every day stuff, with NO sexual contact, no kissing, nothing, and you can do that for an extended period of time (months or more), and he's STILL the guy you want to come home to every day, then you really have a shot.

Good luck Janette, I really do hope you two are that 1% ;)

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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