Female Masturbation/Is it normal


Question
QUESTION: Sorry, I feel wrong asking.. my stepdaughter was molested at 5, I met them when she was 7. Around age 9 I caught her "rubbing" and let her know to only do that in private or woth someone you are in love with (i didnt want to repress her sexually) and thay its ok and natural. Then over the next few months she started doing it right next to me and started touching my back. I would say stop or wait til I'm not here but she thought I was joking I guess? So months went by amd she kept doing that, told her mother and her mother didn't believe me or she didn't care idk, however ir progressed bu the age of 10-11 she would now peel her nickers down and put her bumbum or "area" on me... flesh to flesh :|   So id lay stiff and pretend to sleep, and yes of course I was aroused at the fact thay someone could want me so intensely for so long.. but I did nothing just turn to my side and hide my "situation". She started kind of squeezing or spanking my butt sometimes. Now the main point of the problem was this... I was laying on my back on the carpet like I normally do to relax my back.. she actually pulls her nickers down and rests her area on my mouth!!! I was frozen and reactes like a fish out of water. She was there for a solid minute or two.. which is ALOT longer than people realise. The mom didn't believe me still. She is now 13 and aside from all the sexual acts she did in front or beside me... she is beautiful intelligent and incredibly smart! Now we still have a connection because of what happened between us. Is she in love with me? And no ive touched nothing other than foot massages, I am into reflexology. Is it normal for a girl to go that many years doing that? If she continues what do I do? If she is still on love with me how should I react? Please, I am 28 and reasonably attractive.. I get plenty female attention. Thank you Ashley

ANSWER: It is clear that she has a strong crush on your or may be in love with you. As long as you do not plan to reciprocate her actions then you need to be more stern with her. How was she able to rest her vagina on your mouth for a full minute as you said without you pushing her away? The lack of negative reaction from you only reinforces her hopes that you feel the same way. Can you honestly tell me that when she was resting herself on you that you didn't do anything that would give her hope? You didn't move your lips or tongue in the slightest? She didn't feel your erection when she would lay back against you? I can understand that this attention can be difficult to say no to. She sounds like a very beautiful, seductive young woman, even I would have trouble saying no.
If you do not wish to pursue her, make sure to be more stern, gently but strongly push her away when she tries to be up against you.

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QUESTION: Well of course I tried to say get up or move or hey what are you doing so maybe she felt something it happened tp fast but it felt lasted a long time.. ive never told her that I didnt feel the same.. I thought she knew... nah she straight squatted on top of my face reverse cowgirl style ... no joke, she was laughing and grinding and shit I was honestly to afraid to move and make her hit the big O. Yes she did have a thing for me, I hope so on the event that she mightbe doing this to EVERY guu she meeys, I hope to give her some credit,  like I saod I'm a decent looking guy who geys a lot of looks and a lot of lip biting in my direction.. anyway I just did the smart thing and annoyed her til she was annoyed by my presence..hahah I emailed you personally if you wish to keep chatting. Do you think I did the right thing? I mean... is love real? Could she have actually loved me for me? It would be a shame if I killed love.. I'm a cancer so I'm into that sortof thing..as a woman.. have u ever felt a love that strong?

Answer
Of course love is real but I'm not sure what this is. It's very common for a young woman to have an infatuation with an older man, but it doesn't usually stand the test of time, and as the woman grows up and her personality and interests change, her affection/infatuation for the older man begins to wane. I am sure she loves you as someone's that's cared for her and has been kind to her, but I believe the sexual attraction was just that, an attraction, not part of her love for you.

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan

Expertise

I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children

Experience

I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Organizations
Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Publications
Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

Education/Credentials
B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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