Female Masturbation/Spanking

QUESTION: I am a 17 year old girl. A few months back my mother married her boyfriend who is in his mid thirties. He is very handsome and I admit I am attracted to him. He has this habit of patting me on my bottom occasionally. Sometimes he even slaps it lightly when I make a joke or do something naughty and I love the gentle sting that comes with it. Once I forgot to do an especially important chore and jokingly suggested that he should spank me. Laughing, he bent me over a chair and gave me two rather hard slaps over the thin material of my skirt. When I went to my bedroom and raised my skirt I saw that his hands had left a clear imprint on both my buttocks. I got very aroused looking at that visual and later masturbated to it.

Since then I get wet every time I think about him spanking me. I imagine me laying across his lap and him raising my skirt before spanking me on my bare buttocks. Should I ask him to do it? I am obviously embarrassed to ask him. I am afraid that he will get angry or laugh at me or simply ignore it. Also is this a normal desire? Do many girls fantasize about getting spanked?

ANSWER: Spanking is a very common fantasy. There's a very good chance that your step father has also fantasized about the spanking and masturbated to the thought of you,  how your skin felt, what it would've been like to keep going it or to caress you a little lower.
I don't know that asking him to spank you is the best approach. Have you thought about letting him catch you masturbating? There's no quicker, easier way to communicate that you are a sexual being than that

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QUESTION: Well I waited until my mother left me alone with her husband before carrying out what you suggested. I wore a short tight skirt without any panties and teased him all day, sometimes by bending over or by crossing or uncrossing my legs allowing him to look up my skirt. I saw him looking at me but he didn't say anything. When he left the room I sat on the couch and took my hand under my skirt where I began fingering myself. When he returned he clearly saw what I was doing and stood watching me as I masturbated. I came looking into his eyes and it was one of the most erotic experiences I have ever had. I could see he was aroused too the erection in his pants was a dead giveaway. But he didn't do anything more but just left and shut himself up in his room. I couldn't meet his eyes today. Do you think he masturbated too? Also should I just ask him if he liked what he saw? What should I do?

Hi Malika,
How long was he watching you for? I am certain he did find it very arousing, otherwise he would've left. Could he see your private area as you fingered or was he off to the side? Were you wet enough that he could hear your fingers? I am sure he went to his room to masturbate thinking about what he just saw and likely thought about touching, licking and fucking you. He also very likely fantasized about spanking you like the time he did that.
I would continue to make jokes about being bad and needing a spanking, I suspect he will play along and give you one.

Female Masturbation

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Ashley Morgan


I will do my best to answer your questions about female masturbation, including what healthy masturbation is or how it can become unhealthy, when you should consider masturbating with others and when that may cross the line to sex, and how to handle masturbation in your family whether it's your parents, siblings or children


I am a Master's Student in Developmental Psychology and have focused most of my classes and research on healthy sexual development. I have helped younger siblings, friends, cousins and now my pre-teen daughter embrace masturbation and safe sexuality in a healthy and vibrant way.

Church organizations, a counseling/soup kitchen volunteer organization and several teen puberty forums where I hope to offer advice

Class-specific college writing on Developmental and Sexual health

B.A. in Psychology at an Indiana University. One year of Masters classes.

Awards and Honors
Dean's list, 8 semesters.

Past/Present Clients
Family (siblings and my daughter), friends, cousins, and those I've met online

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