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About christina Cicchelli
Expertise
I can answer the following questions about fetishism:
- How to talk to your partner about your kinky fantasies
- How to set up a "play date" for you and your partner so you can act out your fantasies.
- How to practice your fantasies and fetishes solo.
- The different organizations, clubs, or resources one want to contact
Crossdressers
- How to approach your lover about your crossdressing fetish
- How to play with your lover is s/he is a crossdresser
- Different ways to can continue to make this fetish work for you
Other kinky specialities:
- Animal Transformation
- Foot Fetish
- Role-Play
- BDSM
- Object fetish
"Unique" or "Uncommon" Fetishes:
- Fantasies that involve supernatural creatures, celebrities, etc
- Fantasies that may involve body growth, shrinkage, weight gain, etc.
- Fantasies that include elaborate scenarios, scripted role-play, etc.
- A combination of one or more fetishes
Edgeplay
- Bloodplay
- Watersports
- Coprophilia/coprophagia
- Roman Showers
- Intense, consensual role-play with taboo or controversial themes (Rape-fantasy, animal-play, etc)
I can't answer the following:
In-depth information about medical play or bondage
If you need further guidance or coaching, then please call my phone line:
(646) 250-4999. Call for a free 10 minute phone consultation. I also offer hour-long coaching sessions for the practicing pervert.
Experience
BIO
Christina Cicchelli is a "Sexventurer" of sorts; she's spent over five years as a sex worker and has experience in a myriad of industries, including phone sex and professional domination. As a Mistress, she has worked in several NYC Dungeons and also visited devoted clients on an independent basis. As a phone sex operator, she maintained a large amount of callers who sought her guidance, creativity, and experience in fetish and role-play.
Christina is best known for her career as a porn actress. Under the non de plume, Simone Valentino, she's performed in a handful of films. She received an AVN nomination for “Best Actress” for her role in Afrodite Superstar and also won “Best New Starlet” at the Feminist Porn Awards in 2008 for her role in Audacia Ray's The Bi Apple.
Christina is a columnist for $pread Magazine and writes about all things fetish in own blog, A Fantastic Nightmare. She is also Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’s resident Fetish Blogger on their sex-positive website (Dodsonandross.com) and coaches individuals and couples who seeking kinky inspiration in the bedroom.
Publications
A Fantastic Nightmare (Personal Blog)
Dodsonandross.com - Sex positive website and home of sex educators and feminists Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross
$pread Magazine - Printed publication for sex workers written and produced by sex workers
Education/Credentials
Graduate: The College of New Rochelle
Masters: English/Communications
Awards and Honors
2007: "Best New Starlet" - Feminist Porn Awards
2008: "Best New Actress" - AVN Awards
Past/Present Clients
Confidential but verifiable references are available
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Fetishism > Fetishism > follow up
Expert: christina Cicchelli - 11/5/2009
Question
Christina thank you for the fast response. I had to look up cuckold and that is not what I want. We did talk about what has happened and she informed me she would like to have sex with guys that are very well endowed. I am sure that I am about average but she told me she thinks that it would help as she has never had that. I get the sense from her that she wants this to be a cuckolded relationship, and she wants to stay married as do I we have been married almost 30 years. I can not understand what would make her want this as I have never even hardly raise my voice much less struck her. I had told you before I had caught her having phone sex with him and using her toys not caring if I see, now she wants me to listen secretly,though I think it is a setup and he will know. I guess the question I need to ask is what would make a woman,wife and mother who was fairly prudish in our sex life switch gears to being a basic slut? I do not think there is mental or physical problems and it is o.k. by me if she is not a prude. Am I just to accept she has this craving as she calls it? I asked about our sex life and she said it would not change but I find that hard to believe as my wife has now bought quite the new wardrobe which she looks fantastic in,smokes and wears alot of makeup and can be completely normal around the kids and grandkids. I know I brought this on myself by asking her to indulge my fetish. I want to know if you think it is a phase or it is possible for us to have a relationship where she screws well endowed guys in front of me and I am to clean her up after? What must she think of me now? She said she is sure this is what I want because I do get excited when she talks about it while I go down on her. Am I being manipulated? Any advice please. Thanks Brad
Answer
Hey Brad,
Okay, so now it's back to your basic desires. And, so often partners in a relationship feel as though they need to repress their own desires and basic wants in order to make their partner feel comfortable. In this way, the partner feels self-righteous, or just basically good because they can sacrifice their own desires. And this works for a while, but ultimately the fantasies of either you or your partner need to be met. You expressed your desire, and I assume she met them. Now, she realized her own desires. And while they do include you, you seem to feel uncomfortable and you want to express your feelings, at the same time, you don't want to hurt her feelings.
So, Brad, this is the time that you need to ask yourself: Is it about you or your girlfriend? If it's about your girlfriend, then you comply to her desires and become a part of this cuckold relationship that she's looking for. If it's about you, then you need to find someone who enjoys your desires, and will feel comfortable acting out these fantasies with you. Maybe, this ideal gal has experienced similar fantasies. But, you never know. You may need to date a few girls to find someone who ideally fits your type.
Yes. that means you may have to dump your girlfriend to get what you want! There's nothing wrong with that. Ultimately, you need to make the decision that makes you happy. You want to find someone who can has fantasies that you would turn you on, and vice versa. Not somebody who will freely indulge in her own fantasies without your consent.
So, you need to have the talk with your gal. Sit her down and remind her of the pleasure you experienced when you with her. Was it when you acted out your fantasies? Was it random moments you spent together? Was it romantic nights your planned? include everything and anything. But, also state the desires that you and you alone need; they seem obviously not to include who is into cuckholding. If she seems very much into this, then I wouldn't assume it a phase until she is fully ready to accept it as such. And. even then, you should take a break until she's ready to move beyond cuckholding and onto you before you continue with a relationship.
Remember that you didn't bring it on yourself. If you did, then we all would be guilty if we ever told our lover what we wanted. Ideally, your lover should know your interests and be prepared to play with you or let you play with your own fantasy/fetish in your own way under this context; don't think that you somehow brought this upon yourself. You did the right thing in expressing your own desires. Now, she's expressing hers.
So, have the talk. Allow her to state her own interests. And if they don't match up with hers, then break up with her. Otherwise, you can come up with some sort of situation where you can date/sex up anyone you see. But, make sure it's a legitimate discussion where you discuss boundaries and clearly define the relationship.
Hope everything works out!
xoxo
Christina
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