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Fetishism/Diaper fetish has destroyed my self esteem

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Question
So, ever since I was out of them I've wanted to wear diapers again.  This has been a thing for me for as long as I can remember.

Because I like wearing diapers, I feel like I'm pretty much screwed in the romance department.  It's something I'm extremely ashamed of - how could anyone respect me as a man if they found out I was into something like this?

I know there are women out there who are into this as well, but they're nearly impossible to find.  If they're not already taken, they generally keep a low profile because of how crass and creepy most male AB/DLs seem to be towards any female that displays even a remote interest in the fetish.

I'm terrified of even trying to look for one for fear that my identity will somehow be linked...for instance, I know there are people in my circle of friends who have FetLife accounts...if I were to get one there to try and find a partner, there's a chance that they might find me out and my reputation will be ruined.  The chance of that happening is enough to keep me from even daring to try.

On top of that, I feel that this desire is a spiritual road block.  I feel like unless I rid myself of this fetish I will never attain enlightenment.

But no matter how hard I try, it just won't go away.  What can I do?

Answer
Women who are into your fetish are going to be impossible to find if you don't look and put yourself out there. I'd recommend joining Fetlife, becoming part of AB/DL communities, and finding a way to meet women who are into it. Respect the amount of man that it takes to own your fetish and be that man. Don't become a creepy guy who leans in close to people and whispers "I'm wearing diapers right now.", or some kind of diaper lover rights militant who aggressively fights for DL visibility. Just own it on your profiles in those places where you might find interested women.
 In case friends on Fetlife find out, keep your profile classy. Make it about you, since you're looking for romance and there's more to a relationship than your diaper fetish. Any friend who finds you on Fetlife has their own stuff that they're hiding from the rest of the world. You just want to keep your profile honest, but discreet enough that your friends can accept it academically. If your profile is something like "Diaper Loving Gentleman Looking for Romance", it's going to be a lot less gossip-worthy than something like "Dirty Baby Needs Spanking!" If your photos are of you as a normal everyday person doing everyday activities that you'd hope a future romantic partner would be interested in; that's going to be less provocative than a bunch of diaper fetish shots. If your friends ask, just say "Yup, kinda difficult fetish that I'm saddled with, but I can't let it keep me from living my life."
 Things can get rough if someone dickishly outs you, but in that situation you can control how people take it. If you respond with shame, then people will perceive it as shameful. If you treat it as matter of fact, then not so bad. The important thing is that you don't let your shame keep you from living your life.

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If your fetish involves gear I can take it on. From electrosex to medical play I'll give you the best shot I can. I deal with some of the strangest things on an everyday basis and would be glad to help answer any question you might have, no matter how crazy or mundane. *New* If you're under 18, I'm no longer answering your questions. I understand that most people lose their virginities before they're 18, and that getting good advice, or even treated seriously as a sexual being can be problematic, but I'm not comfortable that the 12 year olds or such who are asking questions are always really 12 year olds and not strange old men or FBI agents. So, for any underage kids thinking of asking questions, here's my response up front: Use condoms (you aren't ready to have sex if you can't buy condoms), and don't do anything you're uncomfortable with.

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