About Jeroen R. van Olst Expertise I have a vast knowledge of and experience in finding Meaning and Purpose in life. I too was once confused, lost, and lonely. For the past 15 years now, I help people with finding Meaning and Purpose in life. And I know this: You have Meaning, and you have Purpose. Finding your Meaning and Purpose is a fascinating journey to becoming whole as a person and human being.
Experience As a spiritual coach and mentor, I have worked, and still work with many adolescents, students, adults, professionals, senior citizens, in all fields of profession, life-style, social and religious background, from all over the world.
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I have over 100 college credits completed in general studies; and I speak foreign language. I am looking for work that does not requires experience, I want to continue my education, but I am undecided what to choose, I don't like taking any science, math, laboratory, or machine training. I love serenity and quiet environments, and I need something that will allow me to enter work without previous experience and with just college education. I lived in Michigan for 11 years and I had very bad luck with jobs because everything here requires several years experience I am thinking about relocation, so please provide me with necessary contact information and details.
Please reply to my E-mial:
Caedesign@hotmail.com
Sincerely;
Sam
Answer -
Dear Sam,
I am not quite sure what your question is. Should this be about finding contact persons or companies or jobs, I am afraid I can't help you. You may want to contact an expert in the business section of Allexperts. Should it be that your question has to do with your personal development and search for meaning and purpose in life, I will be glad to tell you more about that. But please state your question.
Regards,
Jeroen.
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Please tell me about my personal development. I think even if I have certain purpose in life, that purose might not happen if it is not the will of God for me. If you have any questions for me, E-mail me directly to
caedesign@hotmail.com
Answer Dear Sam,
Thank you for your question. It takes courage to come out and say what we have on our mind and what we struggle with in our life. And life is not always what we expect it to be. Especially when we face with the question of what life means and to what purpose we are in this life.
The expectations we have about what our life should or should not be, are fuelled by what we are taught. Which means that we are conditioned into being and doing something we actually don't really want to be or do. And you may ask yourself in all honesty, whether you are doing something that you really like. And whether the expectations you have about yourself are based on what you truly feel is right for you. Maybe the jobs you are applying to are not for you right now, but will be in a few years. Maybe you should look for something a little less ambitious, and lower your expectations a little. For now.
Taking any job you can get in you field, sounds degrading. Especially when you know what you are capable of. On the other hand, getting started is the point here. Action is the word. Any action, any job in your field will do. We often pressure ourselves into something we are not quite well aware of what it actually means to have. And getting a so-called lesser job gives you the opportunity to look around at your leisure and grow into becoming a full member of that profession. A profession, like life, is a learning process.
Moving to other parts may be the solution. However, we mostly forget that we will always take ourselves with us. The grass is not always greener in other pastures. Maybe you could look at what you have right now, and do something meaningful with that first. Find the Meaning, find the Purpose of the ‘now', instead of looking into the future too much. The future will come, no matter what. We can help the future, though, by taking care of the ‘now'.
You are not alone. Often, when you go through less fortunate periods in your life, you think you are the only one who is dealing with that situation. You are not. Not that it helps a whole lot in terms of dealing with your specific situation, but it does help to be reminded of the fact that we are all human, and that not knowing who and what you are at a certain point in your life, is just that, being human. The majority of people reach this 'crisis' in the ages between 38 and 45, some are earlier, some are later. I was there at 32. I believe that, before you can do anything about yourself, you should first look at what the reasons are for feeling this strange and uncomfortable within your own skin, the path that led you to this moment. There are reasons, and you need to find out. Which means that you should take a good and honest look at yourself for who and what you are, not for who and what you want to be. This will come later. You need a ball to play the game with, so to speak. Easy it is not.
I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine the other day, and we came to the conclusion that human beings are who and what they are, but try their hardest not to be. Meaning that the majority of us looks everywhere else for the answers to our questions, except within ourselves, there where the answers lie waiting. In order to find these answers, however, we have to be open and honest with ourselves. And nothing is harder than that. Because we have learned that looking into yourself is not beneficial, and that we should depend on others to seek our truth. I say, 'look into yourself, and you will find the truth.' That we sometimes need others to 'open our eyes' to this fact is something that goes without saying. But the one who has to take action, is us. Words and action. Words are good, they express how you feel, what you want, how you feel you want something. And than comes the time for action, to do something with what you have found out. Maybe you don't know whether it will work, but at least you are trying with heart and soul to make anything you want work.
Happiness is a wide concept and should be interpreted and sought by each of us in our own right. Meaning that we should look for what makes us happy. Peace of mind, heart and soul is somewhere inside you, Sam. And now it is time that you give yourself the chance to find it.
I strongly believe in taking our lives into our own hands, instead of letting life lead us. We do not solely depend on external influences that lead us. We can lead ourselves. And, again, I believe we should lead ourselves, instead of waiting until someone or something gives us what we want. Therefore, we should create our own opportunities. It is a given fact, and unfortunately so, that we do not get anything for free.
So maybe you could think about the following, in order to start creating those great opportunities and adventures that are out there, and take your life into your own hands. Here are a few ideas on how you may be able to take hold of your life and shape it into what you want it to be. You should rule your life, not the other way around.
"What does it all mean?" we often ask ourselves. "Why do things happen the way they do?" and "Why do they happen to me?" There is little or nothing known about the meaning of life, why we're here, and what we're doing being alive. The sheer fact of being alive, however, does mean something. You already are somebody. You are.
When we talk about giving Meaning to our lives, this already means that something is missing. And when something is missing, we either look for it or just leave it at that. The last of which most people do. What you could say is that you already have a certain goal you would like to reach. Namely doing something that will change your life. This motivates you to embark on a search that one day will give you an answer.
A Purpose is a course of action set in motion, a goal, an intention. "The purpose of this discussion is to bring my undesirable situation to a satisfying end." So, what remains is the 'how'. How are you going to do this? I personally love this question, because it means that you can set up a strategy to reach a goal. Setting up a strategy means you are preparing yourself for reaching a goal. You will know what to do, before anything happens. You have the situation in hand. You can start whenever you want to, and stop whenever you want to. This may be a cold way of seeing it, but you are talking about a disciplined process, doing business with yourself, so to speak.
Basically, Purpose is equal to Meaning or Belief. When you believe in something it has a Meaning for you, and it makes you feel good. So you might as well ask yourself, "What do I believe in?" not "What should I believe in?" There's a big difference between these two.
The first step would be to find out what is causing you discomfort. In looking for the answer, you'll have to be very honest when you start questioning yourself. "What is the true reason of my discomfort?" You may not like what you find, but it is part of maturing your feelings and facing up to the challenge of reaching your goals. Whatever those may be. And everything is valid is this, because you're talking about your personal happiness and living at peace with yourself, not the happiness of others or living in peace with them. This is about you.
I believe we all have a certain destiny to reach. Which, in my opinion, doesn't mean we are predestined. But maybe we do have a certain line running through our lives, from start to finish. But we most certainly can take our lives into our own hands and make of it whatever we wish to.
In my youth in the 70's I used to listen to this radio program in which they gave prizes to people who called in and guessed the name of the song. It was an easy game and almost everybody got a prize. But the program's slogan was, "But you'll have to do something for it!" (It sounded like my dad, only the program was much more fun.)
What I want to say with this is that, as you know, nothing is for free. This, in turn, means that reaching any goal has a cost. Getting Meaning into our lives means we have to pay a certain price to get it. This sounds discomforting, but, like guessing the song, which implied knowledge of music, knowledge is what gives meaning to the things we do and say. And in this case it is all about self-knowledge.
In order to get Meaning in your life, you must investigate what life is to you. I say to YOU, and not to other people. Other people have their opinion about you, and they can leave right there. No, what do things mean to YOU?! You can ask other people and see what they have to say, but you'll take a looking glass with you to find the bits of truth they are saying. It's only their point of view. So you'll sift through them and pick out what is important to YOU! Not to them. This sounds very egotistical, but that is what your search basically is. It's about you, and not somebody else. At a later time you can concentrate on others, once you know what you're looking for, or, even better, have found it. You'll have so much more to give. Especially love.
Time. A search takes time. Give yourself that time, but set limits to that same time to reach certain goals. Do you want to be a painter? Be a painter. But you'll have to paint and do everything in your possibilities to make it as a painter. Give it, say, a year or two, to establish yourself as a painter. If it doesn't work out within that period of time you have established for yourself, stop it. But before you stop it, prepare yourself for the moment when it becomes clear you are not a painter, by already having an alternative in the back of your mind. As in, "If I don't make it as a painter, I'll be a mechanic." This gives you Purpose, you know where you're going. And having a Purpose gives you Meaning. You're going somewhere. You don't know if you'll make it, but at least you tried with heart and soul to do it. And that is what counts. And who else can say that? And the sheer fact of having done something to fulfill your dream gives you the motivation to always look ahead and grab new challenges. It means something. You have Meaning.
To me, we find our goal(s) (why limit ourselves to just one?) by trial and error. Mostly by error. Errors are positive, because you can learn from them. Does this take courage? Yes. And you'll thank yourself for it, to have taken the risk of committing an error. Failing at something is seen as bad. I say, you learned from it. Which makes you a more knowledgeable person than those who sit on their hands all their lives and watch their life pass them by. And one day they'll wake up, and find they have missed so many great and exciting adventures. And now they want to get into gear, too. But, oops, I'm not 25 years old anymore, and climbing Mount Everest will have become an impossible thing to do at 49. I have never trained for it, psychologically or physically. We have learned to stick to one thing for the rest of lives, otherwise we are seen as unstable people. Or we may talk ourselves into this. This is why I advise people to keep an open mind and 'weigh' their options consciously and honestly.
One of the questions I have been asked, came from an author who had so many things to write about that she didn't know what to start her next book on. I suggested she write each subject on a piece of paper, throw the papers into a hat, close her eyes, and pick one out, and start writing on that one. It was a simplistic way of choosing, but by doing it, her new book is with the publishers now.
You may do the same thing, simply write down the options you have and look at the pros and cons, while asking yourself, "What are the risks involved, are they really risks, and am I willing to take them?" And with each answer, ask yourself, "Is that the TRUE reason for my doing or not doing something?" This true reason will lead to honesty with yourself, which will give you the peace of mind needed for a satisfactory conclusion of your search. Maybe you'll choose the 'wrong' thing. But than at least you'll know what you don't want! And knowing what you don't want, leaves you only with the things you do want! And you can always change course. Who says you can't? As long as the change is conscious and prepared ahead. Don't surprise yourself into changes, and don't be afraid you'll lose yourself. You never will.
So you may pick one option and go with it, see where it takes you, always having your second option the back of your mind. But only as a preparation for when the first one doesn't work out for one reason or other, and without giving up the first one until you have drained it of all possibilities to make a success of it. Rank your options by priority and be honest with yourself.
When you want to know what you want, you can write it down on a piece of paper, together with realistic ways of getting each and everything you would like to have. Check your own priorities in life and start working on them, conscious of what you have to do to reach that goal. Again, be realistic (not like the mountain climber). But give yourself the chance to be happy and comfortable with whatever you embark on.
And remember this:
"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain
I hope your question(s) is adequately answered with this, Sam. If not, please let me know. And never ever give up!
