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Finland/Why would a European woman have several children


QUESTION: Why would a European woman have several children with a man that wants children, does not love her romantically, marry her or live in the same household? Most European woman and most European children would consider this man to be a very good father.

ANSWER: This isn't really a question regarding Finland but I'll throw some theories on your assumption =)
It sounds like you have been hurt by this kind of happening or have very strong ideas about what a family is.
Europe is a very liberate area regarding sexual orientation and family structure. Most countries accept same sex parents, same sex marriages and give same sex couples the right to adopt children. Parental rights are very strong in Europe, but they do not go before children's right to a safe childhood, free of abuse and neglect. In the 21st century it is seen as an old fashined view of family, that it would consist of a mother a father and their children. A family can, in the 21st century, be 2 mothers with children, 2 fathers with children, and anything there between. We are not to judge a family as long as the children do not suffer.
I can think of a few reasons why your question would occur.
1. A woman really wants children, and the man she wants to make children with, suits her idea of a good father candidate. They decide to make children and agree that either the mother would solely take care of the children without the biological father's involvement or that the father will have visiting rights. The father is most likely supporting them financially.
2. Both parties wants offspring but do not wish to live together. The couple makes children and decide that the children are to stay with the mother and the father possibly has visiting rights. The father is most likely supporting them financially.
3. The woman is bisexual, wants to make and bear children, but does not want to live with a man.
The definition of a good father is not bound to any geographical area. Women around the world have the same visions of what a good father is. Our vision of a good father is caring, loving, spends time with his children and take care of the family.
By saying most European mothers and children think high of this kind of solution of family is generalizing.
I would not agree to this kind of arrangement but as long as it's ok for the mother and the children dont suffer, I am in no position to judge.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Why would a mother be happy if she has two daughters even if they live with there biological father? Both girls make it clear that they want to live with there father in and spend most of there free time with him. They also make it clear that they love there mother very much but only see there mother one day a week.

The mother should stop thinking about herself and start listening to the children. If the children are in school and old enough to express their feelings and what they want is to remain with the father, the mother should accept this. No matter how painful it is. But the children should be able to choose, not the parent.  


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Evelyn Bagge


I am a native Finn, able to answer almost all kinds of questions related to customs, habits, tradition, tourism, rules and regulations, nightlife, living, habits, culture and much more. I would be happy to help.


Lifelong experience of living in Finland.

BBA in 2008

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