Expert: Lisa Carlson - 11/1/2009

Question
Some time back I watched a film called a family undertaking.  I had no idea that this could be done without funeral director services.  I want to know how to go about caring for a family member ourselves who has died.  I'm sure we'd want a memorial service for family and friends to attend, but it appeals to us not to have an expensive funeral and for there to be no separation when I or my husband dies. Since no embalming requires a quick burial, I want to gather information now so we're prepared with the procedure to take when the time for our death comes.  Where do we get an inexpensive casket?  Do we have to call an ambulance if death happens at home or can we just call our doctor? Will it be difficult for us to purchase a burial plot for such a funeral? My husband is ill now, but even though we expect him to fully recover, these questions have come to mind because death will come sometime.  My husband and I are in our late 50's and we live in PA.

Answer
E-mail me directly for the PA chapter from the '98 edition of my book. I don't think a lot has changed. You can build your own casket or ask a local woodworker, perhaps an Amish or Mennonite one. Two feet wide and one foot deep is about right. If it is an anticipated death, do NOT call 911. Simply call the doctor who may send out one of the Visiting Nurses to pronounce the death. Ask the doctor what to do on a weekend or holiday.

Check around the cemeteries now. Many will require a graveliner to keep the grave from sinking over time. If they don't sell them, you'll have to go through a funeral director as most vault companies won't sell to the public. Or ask the cemetery if you can use a stock tank upside down like a butter dish, the 150 gal. size. It's only 24" wide, so make sure the casket is a bit narrower. lisa@funeralethics.org