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My brother-in-law who iives in a state 700 miles distant (Tenn)  has just died of complications from Alzheimers.  I went there to see him and be with my sister just 2 weeks ago.  He is to be buried in a state several hundred miles further south (Louisiana)  where his own family lives.  My question is - should I try to go to the funeral or somehow be with her now.  All 3 of her children and her grandchildren are with her and she told me not to come now - there may be a memorial service later closer to where I live.   It would be finanically hard for me to go to the funeral in LA  and there are many other support people around.  However, I am her only sister so am feeling not quite comfortable about the situation if I don't go.  What is the right thing to do?

Answer
Hello Sara -

I suggest you follow your gut, what is your soul telling you to do?  I apologize this reply may be too late but it seems that you should plan on attending the memorial service at a future date.  Even better, you should assist in planning it, that way you will feel like you made a contribution and you are important to the services.  Follow your heart and don't hurt yourself in the process.

with care,  

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Kellie Gillespie

Expertise

I can answer any questions regarding funeral planning, grief, alternatives to burial, embalming, natural burial, products and ideas how to make a funeral service or memorial service more meaningful and personal. I can't answer questions regarding legal issues, financial planning and what happens after we die.

Experience

I am a licensed Funeral Director in the state of California with 10 years experience.

Education/Credentials
B.A. from the University of Colorado AA from the San Francisco College of Mortuary Science, now part of the Sacramento Community College program

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