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Funerals/Really need advice please..


I just list my dad in Sunday morning;( and two of
His sons were not involved in his life but they came to the hospital
Cause a aunt called them to tell them my dad was very sick..
We want to have my dad's body cremated and they are against it
But my dad told three people he wanted to be at home cause he was scared
And did not want to be left behind or forgotten.. My little sister took care of him so did I
We have a advance care but it does not say about his funeral cause we had thought he would be around forever
They want to have a regular burial for him but four of his kids agree
On what my dad wanted.. So now we can't go forward with it cause they dot allow us too.
Can you please give me advice on what I can do please.. I leave in California but my dad's services
Would be in Visalia ca please help us thank you

It's too bad your dad didn't fill out the part of the advance directive that gives you the right to make decisions for the funeral. Most funeral homes will not cremate when there is disagreement without that. Are the objecting sons going to pay for the funeral?

You could go to Probate Court and see if the court will give you the right to honor your father's wishes. You don't need a lawyer to go to Probate.  


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Lisa Carlson


Funeral Law. Having written a 512-page book on funeral law for consumers with state-by-state information, I am very conversant with consumer rights in this regard: What are the laws on disposition of cremated remains? Is embalming required? Do I have to use a funeral home? Can I have a home wake? Is it a state law to buy a vault? I prepaid for a funeral but changed my mind. They won`t give me all my money back. What can I do? . . . If you have an immediate need for information because a death has just occurred or is about to occur, you may call me at 802-482-6021.


I have monitored the funeral industry on behalf of consumers for over 20 years. I have been a guest speaker to funeral trade organizations, consumer workshops, and social service professionals. I am regularly consulted by lawyers and legislators as well as journalists.

Funeral Ethics Organization ( Funeral Consumers Alliance (

Caring for Your Own Dead (1987) Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love (1998) I Died Laughing: Funeral Education with a Light Touch (2001) Final Rights: Reclaiming the American Way of Death (2011) with co-author Joshua Slocum

Masters degree in Administration and Special Education

Past/Present Clients
Available as an expert witness for funeral-related court cases.

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