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Funerals/His sister died

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Question
Hi,
I am so uncomfortable asking because people shouldn't behave like this when someone dies.
My boyfriend had a spat with his sister it was not resolved her husband got involved and he got the sheriff involved (no arrests they only called my boyfriend sheriff thought it was dumb but everyone stay away from each other) husband complains to fatherinlaw makes more out of it.
My boyfriend's parents took sister's side without hearing son out. They had son come over for dinner daughter for lunch on holidays. Parents never helped to resolve this they encouraged it.My boyfriend did not know sister was deathly ill till 4 weeks ago he was not told he was out of the loop. Well he told his mother when he found out to relay a message to sister that she only has one brother in whole world and he needs to speak to her on phone soon. He wants to clear things up.Mother
never told daughter 3 weeks laughter he gets call from mother she passed and oh by the way her last wishes were for you not to come to services and funeral. What the hell kind of family is this?ouch well he wants to go but I am worried if he shows up can they arrest him ?
Thank you

Answer
Have him explain the problem to the funeral director and ask for some private time to say his goodbyes to his sister. They won't arrest him as it's a public even if it's announced in the paper, but private time would avoid any confrontations. Death seems to bring out the worst in people.

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Lisa Carlson

Expertise

Funeral Law. Having written a 512-page book on funeral law for consumers with state-by-state information, I am very conversant with consumer rights in this regard: What are the laws on disposition of cremated remains? Is embalming required? Do I have to use a funeral home? Can I have a home wake? Is it a state law to buy a vault? I prepaid for a funeral but changed my mind. They won`t give me all my money back. What can I do? . . . If you have an immediate need for information because a death has just occurred or is about to occur, you may call me at 802-482-6021.

Experience

I have monitored the funeral industry on behalf of consumers for over 20 years. I have been a guest speaker to funeral trade organizations, consumer workshops, and social service professionals. I am regularly consulted by lawyers and legislators as well as journalists.

Organizations
Funeral Ethics Organization (www.funeralethics.org) Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.funerals.org)

Publications
Caring for Your Own Dead (1987) Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love (1998) I Died Laughing: Funeral Education with a Light Touch (2001) Final Rights: Reclaiming the American Way of Death (2011) with co-author Joshua Slocum

Education/Credentials
Masters degree in Administration and Special Education

Past/Present Clients
Available as an expert witness for funeral-related court cases.

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