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You are here: Experts > Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > Gay/Lesbian/Bi Teens > Remaining Friends
Expert: Sandi
Date: 5/14/2008
Subject: Remaining Friends
Question
Around two months ago, my friend and I broke off a fling we had going that
last around 4 months. He broke it off, and I took it kind of rough. I liked him
a lot more than he liked me. I still want to make things work, but I know he
doesn't; at all. I'm still not completely over it.
We were best friends before we started messing around, but now I never see
him and miss him a lot - more as a friend than partner. He said he didn't
want to hang out for awhile because "I was always around" (since we have the
same friends). We haven't hung out for almost a month now. I asked him if
he wanted to spend the day with me this weekend, and he said he did, but I
have a feeling he only said that to make me happy, and he really could care a
less if he sees me or not. I also think he's avoiding me because the last two
times we hung out alone, we ended up messing around, and he said each
time he felt gross afterwards because he had no attraction to me and felt like
an animal just looking to fulfill an urge...
I want to remain friends, but I don't know how to. We use to do everything
together, and knew everything about each other, but now I have no idea
what's going on in his life. What hurts me the most is that I understand why
he doesn't want to go out with me, that I can deal with, but rather the fact
that he won't treat me as a friend - we promised that no matter what
happened between us we'd remain friends. And that isn't happening... he
never calls, he doesn't make an effort to see me, he doesn't do anything that
involves interacting with me...
Should I just give him more time/space? I tried not talking to him, and waited
for him to call me to hang out, because that way I'd know he'd actually want
to see me, but it went on almost 2 weeks without a phone call from, and it
bugged me so I caved in and called. Now I'm here asking for advice.
Anything will help, I just want some kind of tip.
Thanks.
Answer
yes, i think you should give him his space. let him know you understand his feelings and you dont want to ruin your friendship over this. also let him know you will give him space and when he ready he can contact you. thats really the only think you can do to hopfully keep him as a friend. good luck
sandi
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