Dear Answer Seekers- My name is Aidan, and I am your expert in “GLBT Teens.” Being Gay myself, I know how hard it is to deal with anti-gay slurs at school on a daily basis, how your “best friend” suddenly turns his/her back on you, how your family betrays you and disowns you. I went through all of this when I first came out as being a gay teen. I still remember the harsh comments I took in everyday when I was in the public school system from prejudice, anti-gay students. Some got physical, some made threats, and some even tried to hit me with their car. That’s when I decided to volunteer my time in helping teens overcome their fears, and issues. I can answer questions about family issues, school issues, relationship issues, how to come out to your family, how to tell your friends your gay, how to report prejudice conduct to your school officials, how to deal with religious family members, etc. Let me tell you something, I can’t always answer everyone’s questions but I will give you as much advice as I possibly can.
Experience
Experience in the area I am an expert in Gay Teens Advice, being gay myself I understand how every teen feels when they just can't be themselves. I try to envision myself in the persons shoes and give them advice on how I'd resolve this issue. I am a gay activists, and volunteer at many gay organizations.
Organizations Stanislaus Pride Center; Human Rights Campaign.
Publications I have written about gay rights in past research, narrative, and biographical essays in my home schooling program.
Education/Credentials I don't possess "credentials" in this area.
Awards and Honors I don't possess "awards or honors" in this area.
Past/Present Clients I don't possess "past and current clients" in this area.
Expert: Aidan Date: 7/15/2008 Subject: First Gay Crush...I need advice!! Help!!
Question **This is long, I know, I'm sorry**
I'm a 20 year old bisexual?/gay male, and I have just developed my first crush on a guy, all my prior crushes have been on girls, and have only seen guys in a sexual manner only. He is gay, seems to be out in his personal life, but is closeted at our work, where I know him/met him.
We have been talking and have become decently good friends at work, flirting, laughing and stuff. He has been choosing his words very carefully to describe past relationships, leaving out "Hims", "Hers", "She", "He" etc.. I asked him the other day if his eye color was real or if he wore colored contacts. He instead told me a story (very carefully and slowly to leave out the sex of the partner I noticed) about how he had been told in the past that his eyes get bluer when he orgasms. My normal response (if a girl had told me that) would have been a corny joke like "oh yeah when are you going to prove it?" or something along the lines, but I didn't because that would have outed me. I instead said "Oh really? We'll thats pretty bad when your eyes are the only thing that they were interested in during it" and winked at him. He smiled/laughed and said "Oh yeah, thats what you think." I took this exchange between us as flirting, but I could be wrong??
I also always joke about how if I was in charge of the firing/hiring of people at our work I'd fire half the place and hiring hot people to replace them, he asked "Oh well I'd still have a job right?" and I joked back "No, I said only hot people would be employed", he laughed. (My sense of humor is sort of "insulting"/"Joking" with people, you can tell that I like you (as a friend/crush) if I pick on you)
The other day he made a comment to me and another co-worker that I don't really understand what it meant, " 'Guy' is awesome, If I was gay I'd definitely go for him." What do you guys think this meant?? Seeing how he is gay does that mean he would/wants to go for me?
I have been making attempts to hang out with him outside of work (We have once with a group from work), but we have not hung out other than that. I think a big reason for that is 1) He isn't 100% that I'm gay and doesn't want me to get freaked out hanging out with him in a "gay" situation or 2) Doesn't want "work"/me to know hes gay
He found out the other day that I played Football in high school and has brought it up several times that he "can't believe I played" and that "he can't see it" ... do you think that the stereotype of an "obnoxious jock" or from a bad experience he had with a "jock" is effecting his decision about me??
He got very upset when it started to go around work that he might be gay. He has come out to two girls at work, but still hasn't to me. He was talking about bisexuals the other day and I asked "Well...your bi too, aren't you?" and he got very red and denied it. I was going to come out to him too but I decided to just let the subject go. I apologized for my question, said that it was fine with me if he was or wasn't, and that I hadn't told anyone about that topic and wasn't going to, because it was none of their business.
How should I go about getting him to trust me enough to tell me or how to re bring up the subject in order to tell him about myself??
Answer Hey there--
I've always said to people do not flaunt your personal life around work. It is way unprofessional, and it starts drama, and discrimination, and harassment. First off, I think you should have a talk with all your employee's and tell them that they need to keep their person lives to themselves. Secondly, I think you need to call him up, and talk to him. Maybe invite him out for coffee at a Starbucks, or something? Just the two of you, no one else. Then when you have him to yourself you can ask him about his personal life, and if he is gay or not. Make sure that you tell him your gay-friendly, or tell him that your bisexual or gay yourself and you don't care. If he says "yes, I'm gay." you can tell him how much you like him, and take it from there. So, I hope I helped you fix your problem with him. Please update me in the future; or if you have another question message me. My profile is: "Aidan Patrick."
