AboutJessica Expertise Hello, I can answer questions on coming out to your friends or family, relationship problems, questioning your sexuality, why a person is gay, signs as to finding out whether someone is homophobic, whether he or she likes you and religious parents. I will try my best to help you out but there is nothing I can't help or support you with. Although this is off topic, I believe that I am able to answer questions outside the circle of gay, lesbian and bisexual. Like school, family, and psychological issues. I am no expert but just a volunteer. If I am on vacation, here is a link to my answers on different problems you are having: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Gay-Lesbian-Bi-3185/2008/7/ANSWERS.htm
Which ever volunteer you are going to pick, please fill in the correct email address or you will never receive an answer. Thank you.
Experience
Experience in the area I'm a bisexual teen myself and have gone through tough situations involving my sexuality. I have been volunteering here for more than a year now and would definitely be of help to you. Homosexuality alone is a topic but it is linked to many different areas too (environment, family, school life, etc). So, I am able to give you a wider scope of the situation.
Education/Credentials I do not have any Education or Credentials in this field. But having the interest and with large amount of time spent on research, reading valid resources, I believe that I am able to answer your question to your need.
Expert: Jessica Date: 7/16/2008 Subject: Sexual Dreams.
Question QUESTION: Hey.
Well, My names Samantha, and lately I've been having dreams about one of
my good friends that I've known for a really long time. And in my latest
dream, we were in a small bathroom, and we were doing really sexual things.
And . . . She was on top of me and I was kinda giving her a hickey, and then
she tried giving me one, and I told her not to because I was afraid of getting
a hickey. And, if it helps, I have questioned myself many times about being
bisexual. But see the thing is, I dont want to be bisexual because it goes way
aginst what my family believes. And, I don't want people to view my like that.
And also, maybe another thing that mght help is that once i questioned
whether or not I had feelng for my friend because she is bisexual and I felt
she knew what I was goin through.
ANSWER: Hello Samantha,
Thank you for your question.
Dreams can actually leave certain emotions in you after you awake. Let me share an experience with you. I had a dream of running up slope, I was tired. I woke up feeling physically tired too. But do you think that the real me is actually feeling tired physically? No.
Next, no one really makes a conscious to be gay. Are you sexually or physically or romantically attracted to girls? Were you ever abused, molested or raped?
Tell me more about your family. Are they Christians?
You got to be sure of your sexuality first.
I hope that my answer has helped you and please feel free to write back anytime. I am available here unless I max out.
Good luck & take care,
Jessica
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks for your response(:
But see the thing is, I dont think I had the dream just out of nowhere, Im
thinking I had it because I'm questioning my sexuality.
Thats why I think I had this dream.
But. . . Yeah.
While I was reading your response, Thats the one thing that I think you didn't
quite get, sorry for not adding it on there in a way that you would understand.
Sooo.
Now can you answer my question?
With that in mind?.
Answer Hello Samantha,
I got to say that I was surprised in a bad way when I received an email from AllExperts saying that someone has gave me a negative rating. This is the first time I've received such a rating after volunteering here for more than a year. So, 'thank you' - in a sarcastic way, for breaking the record.
Well, I am not a dream expert. I tried my best to answer you after all. I wanted to give you a website: www.dreammoods.com where you could interpret your dream. However, I didn't think that would really help.
I know that you are questioning your sexuality and that's why I included in my previous answer to you, asking you whether you are sexually or physically romantically attracted to girls. So, are you or not? The attraction of bisexuality towards a girl and boy doesn't have to be equal.
Anyway, here was your question:
QUESTION: Hey.
Well, My names Samantha, and lately I've been having dreams about one of
my good friends that I've known for a really long time. And in my latest
dream, we were in a small bathroom, and we were doing really sexual things.
And . . . She was on top of me and I was kinda giving her a hickey, and then
she tried giving me one, and I told her not to because I was afraid of getting
a hickey. And, if it helps, I have questioned myself many times about being
bisexual. But see the thing is, I dont want to be bisexual because it goes way
aginst what my family believes. And, I don't want people to view my like that.
And also, maybe another thing that mght help is that once i questioned
whether or not I had feelng for my friend because she is bisexual and I felt
she knew what I was goin through.
That was all that you have submitted to me. What question would you like me to answer when you did not even include a question mark (?) in the first place? I've already answered you by sharing my own experience with you, where it is possible for emotions in a dream to linger in you when you're awake. I have also asked you whether you are sexually/physically/romantically attracted to girls too. Furthermore, I have asked you whether your parents are Christians, as you mentioned about their belief against homosexuality. Finally, my first answer to you included whether you've been raped or not.
Well, alright if you want further clarification.
Here you go:
1 Corinthians 6:9-11:
9 Don't you know that evil people will not receive God's kingdom? Don't be fooled. Those who commit sexual sins will not receive the kingdom. Neither will those who worship statues of gods or commit adultery. Neither will men who are prostitutes or who commit homosexual acts. 10 Neither will thieves or those who always want more and more. Neither will those who are often drunk or tell lies or cheat. People who live like that will not receive God's kingdom.
11 Some of you used to do those things. But your sins were washed away. You were made holy. You were made right with God. All of that was done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Get the understanding of what these verses mean? If you are a believer, your sins are forgiven. Because you believe that Jesus washed away your sins with His blood. One should not condemn a homosexual but instead help. If they disagree with you, then they are disagreeing with me and disagreeing with the Lord. Tell them to go back to Bible Study since they are unable to comprehend/interpret such easy and straight forward verses. (When you're sure of your sexuality, and want to come out to your parents, to might want to show them these verses).
Find out whether they are homophobic first. You can find out whether one is homophobic by asking them some questions and by observing them too. Do they have or would they want to make friends with people who are gay? Do they watch movies or read books that include gay relationships? Have you ever heard them say that gays are sick people? In general, what's their attitude towards the gay community? You might ask your parents what they think of a celebrity who is gay. That's just an example of an indirect question.
Some kids, after finding out that their parents are homophobic, would choose to come out only when they are older and can support themselves financially. Because their parents might treat them real bad or have them survive on their own. Thus they will have to look for their own shelter, live on the streets or turn to a friend's or relative's house. However, this is the extreme case which is very rare these days.
If you happen to be in such an extreme situation, I would suggest that you talk to a trusted adult be it a relative, teacher or school counselor. They will not expose what you have shared with them unless it is threatening to your safety and/or the safety of others.
I asked whether you've been raped or molested because a person doesn't make a conscious choice to be gay. Homosexuality stems from either a learnt behavior or hurts, wounds, issues. Having said that, have you ever been abused (physical, verbal, sexual, emotional)? How about raped or molested? Are your parents divorced? There is no solid scientific proof that gay is a result of chemical imbalance or due to hormones. I believe that homosexuality builds up depending on the environmental factors.
An example: Jim didn't have many friends in school and hang around with the girls only. So, he got picked on and bullied by the boys. However, he found ways that could please his boy classmates and lead them to accepting him. How did Jim please the boys? By maybe doing anything he was asked of. Simple situation of neglect affects psychologically. I know, high level of complexity.
It seems as though you are angry at something. So, don't take it out on me.
If you are unhappy with my reply, bring it up to AllExperts. I do not mind. For the record, I have been the top volunteer for more than seven pages consecutively under the past answers in this category.
