AboutJessica Expertise Hello, I can answer questions on coming out to your friends or family, relationship problems, questioning your sexuality, why a person is gay, signs as to finding out whether someone is homophobic, whether he or she likes you and religious parents. I will try my best to help you out but there is nothing I can't help or support you with. Although this is off topic, I believe that I am able to answer questions outside the circle of gay, lesbian and bisexual. Like school, family, and psychological issues. I am no expert but just a volunteer. If I am on vacation, here is a link to my answers on different problems you are having: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Gay-Lesbian-Bi-3185/2008/7/ANSWERS.htm
Which ever volunteer you are going to pick, please fill in the correct email address or you will never receive an answer. Thank you.
Experience
Experience in the area I'm a bisexual teen myself and have gone through tough situations involving my sexuality. I have been volunteering here for more than a year now and would definitely be of help to you. Homosexuality alone is a topic but it is linked to many different areas too (environment, family, school life, etc). So, I am able to give you a wider scope of the situation.
Education/Credentials I do not have any Education or Credentials in this field. But having the interest and with large amount of time spent on research, reading valid resources, I believe that I am able to answer your question to your need.
Question Hi Jessica, I'm a closeted 18 y/o male who is going off to college in less than 2 weeks. About 5 months ago I fell for one of my closest friends who I have known for about 3 years. ago. Strange thing is that I never really saw him any more than a friend until he started hanging around me more towards the end of high school. I fell in love with him because we had so much in common (our personalities were the same, we shared the same humor, the same music taste, the same views people, basically we just gelled very well together). I could have sworn he was gay or at least into me. Not that he acts feminine or anything, but he does a lot of things that I would assume as hitting on me and kinda gay.
Here is a list of reasons and examples why I thought/think he is gay.
- Whenever we go play basketball or do any physical activity he always wears short shorts with vibrant colors, like lime green.
- A couple of times when I went to his house, he would open the door with just his boxers on and just say “hey” in like a seductive joking way.
- He has never had a girlfriend before.
- He does a lot of gay jokes, like sit on my lap or something homosexual like that and laugh about it right after. He does it with a lot of other guys too though.
- One time I was sitting in the back seat with him while my friends were driving in the front, and I slept to the side where my head was near his leg and he started putting his fingers through my hair. (I don’t know this could have been his attempt as a joke but I pretended to stay sleeping as he continued to touch my hair)
- He tells me I’m good looking.
- He told me “I’ll only get high with you”
- We got drunk together one time and he would hug me a lot and I would hug back and he wouldn’t mind. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me too. (but then again I told everyone I loved them when I was drunk but I really meant it when I said it to him although I don’t think he meant it)
- One time he asked me “so you don’t like girls Adam?” and I just responded “I don’t know what I want” Which to me, isn’t this a clear indicator that I’m at least willing to experiment with guys??! He still talks to me even after I said that so I guess he isn’t a homophobe (but wait read on to the reasons why I am pretty sure he is straight)
- He asked me to sleep over at his house one time, but I declined since I thought I would be intruding. I STRONGLY regret ever declining….
Those are all the things I could think about of why I thought/think he was/is gay. Now for the depressing part :’( Here is a list of things why he’ll probably never be with me and why he isn’t gay or sees me the way I see him.
- First of all, he flakes on me A LOT. If he really loved me the way I love him, he would try to make me his priority as I make him mine right?
- He is a workaholic, he works a lot and I ask him why he works so much and he tells me because “I have nothing else to do”. And that kills me because I think to myself that’s less time he spends with me.
- He “liked liked” this one girl. I thought it was kind of particular for him to like this girl since I think he could get so much better if he wanted to, but he tells me he likes her because she “is the first girl that he liked everything about and she is really easy to get along with” Ironically her best friend is in love with him so she decided not to go into a relationship with him. My friend didn’t seem heart broken though?
- We recently had a debate about religion and god (not trying to offend anyone but I’m a agnostic leaning towards atheism) and he is a strong believer in Christianity. We some how got onto the subject of homosexuals and he said that “homosexuality is a sin” and “I’m not gay”.
- He points out “dimes” or “hot girls”.
- He told me he saw this one girl at work and she was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, so beautiful that he can’t even picture her face.
- When we were drunk I said “Fuck (name of girl he liked)” and he said “why? I love her.”
- I recently hurt my back and my friends were joking around about having someone massage my back, and the guy I love made it clear that it would be disgusting to massage my back innless I were a hot girl.
- When I pointed out a bisexual girl out to him he said “I can’t blame bisexual girls, since girls are :grins: you know but guys, its just ewwugh :shivers:”
- He says he doesn’t mind gay people as long as they don’t hit on him.
So anyways, long story short, I have been trying to get over this guy, I know nothing will ever come between us, but I’m so DAMN DELUSIONAL!! I swear I’m crazy, but I still feel like he feels something for me and he is just a gay person who has strong faith in god and doesn’t want to admit who he is or is ashamed by it… I DON’T KNOW!! What do you guys think? What should I do? I know I should be forgetting about this guy but trust me… I CAN’T!!! He is all I think about and all I do is stare at his AIM screen name and facebook page… I don't love him just because he is DAMN cute but also because I love his personality! I don't even want to have sex with him, I rather just be with him... I’m going insane and I need help… I cant help but feel that because I declined sleeping over that one night at his house, he felt that I rejected him and thinks that I am not into him so is saying all that crap about girls and gays to make it clear to me that he is straight? Or is he just a straight guy and I’m extremely delusional?????!?
please dont just say "yeah hes straight, get over him". I know all of this already but i need advice on how to get him off my mind and get over him....
sorry its so long
Answer Hello Adam,
Thank you for sending your question to me.
However, I cannot reply fully to your problem now.
I am really sorry, I am just busy with my preliminary examinations now.
Yeah, you really sent a long question but I promise to reply latest by Friday.
Uh, I'm really sorry.
I will check back and read your question soon. That's a promise.
